Monday, May 4, 2020

Losing Weight (Controversial)

What I’m about to tell you is a sensitive (and very controversial) topic…

Is it possible to lose weight if you stop dieting?

Should you even care?

Or should you just look in the mirror and… accept your body?

No matter what it looks like?

Or what you feel about it?

Let me start off by saying this first:

I never encourage anyone to diet.

Doesn’t work.

And it only brings you harm.

But with A LOT of binge eating coaches… it’s either black or white.

If you were to ask them…

Wanting to lose weight is bad.

You should never think about it.

And you should just love yourself and your body for who you are.

Often, they never take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

In my 18 years of running my own practice…

You meet a lot of different people.

Many who struggle with binge eating.

Others with bulimia.

Some have a hard time with both.

(Like me in my teenage years..)

I help people of all sizes.



Doesn’t matter.

I’ve helped people who are 150 pounds overweight.

I’ve sat down and talked with these people for several hours per week.

For months.

And years.

They are exceptionally strong.

How they open up about their deepest fears.

And insecurities.

It takes so much courage to do that.

But a lot of other binge eating coaches?

Who says you should just accept your body?

No matter what?

They haven’t met people like this.

And they haven’t talked with them consistently for an extended period of time about the deep stuff.

So they simply don’t understand…

They don’t understand what it's like when people automatically assume you're lazy, greedy, and undisciplined.

How people look at your shopping cart and judge you at the grocery store.

How humiliating is to ask for an extended seat belt whenever you are flying.

They have no idea how your heart shatters in a million pieces when your own kids are embarrassed about your weight.

And how your kids don’t want to be seen in public with you because they’re so embarrassed of you.

I’ve met these people.

Talked with them.

They’ve opened up to me.

I’ve cried with them.

And yes, they want to stop binge eating.

But they WANT to lose weight.

They have no intention of looking like a swimsuit model.

But the deeper under the surface we go…

Pulling back layer after layer…

And finding the truth…

We see what’s truly holding them back.

And for a few people (not everybody)… it’s losing their excess weight.

But not for somebody else’s approval.

And not because they believe people will accept them if they do.

But for their own sake and happiness.

Some want to be healthy and live an active lifestyle.

They don’t want their knees and feet hurting anymore.

Feeling out of breath all the time.

They don’t want to risk dangerous diseases.

And yes, some people, just don’t want their kids to be embarrassed about them.

Many people don’t get that.

For some people… just “accepting your body for what it is” is not the solution.

And I’m sick and tired of it being a one-size fit solution for everybody.

(Pardon the expression)

It’s not.

Now, I want to help people live a happy and loving life.

And if somebody has a desire to not be obese anymore?

Who am I to say they can’t?

Or that they shouldn’t?

I can’t force people to continue being 150 pounds overweight...

And I can’t lie to them saying it’s okay if they are not okay with it.

Re-read that again.

It’s that important.

I’m not saying you can’t carry excess weight and not be happy.

That’s not the case here.

You definitely can!

But for some people?

Hearing “just accept your body”… is not enough.  

I’m not a weight loss doctor.  Nor do I want to be.

And I’m definitely against dieting.

But if you get control over your relationship with food, the weight loss will come automatically.

But that’s the thing…

You need to take control of your relationship with food FIRST.

And find out what’s really causing you to binge eat.

This is why I always say it’s not what you’re eating, it’s what eating at you.

I don't want to be so blind in a personal agenda to the point where I can’t see people for their true desire to be happy.

If that makes me a “bad” eating disorder coach or whatever – so be it.

That’s my two cents.

What do you think?

I would love to hear your thoughts. Drop a comment here or join my awesome Facebook community where you get to connect with other people who get it. Click HERE to join!