Tuesday, June 23, 2015

How To Comfort Yourself (Without Food)


















How do you talk to yourself?

Here are some things I've heard this past week:
  • I'm so mad at myself for eating all those brownies.  I'm such a loser.
  • Why can't I get a grip?  What's wrong with me? 
  • I woke up feeling gross after bingeing yesterday.  I'm disgusting.
  • I hate myself.
Ouch!

The way you talk to yourself impacts the way you feel, which in turn influences behavior.  If you're harsh, you'll feel AWFUL - and way more likely to eat for comfort or distraction (just to escape yourself!).

Changing the way you respond to YOU is absolutely key to making peace with food. Here are three crucial steps you can implement right away:

#1 Choose your words carefully

Let's say a friend ate brownies and was really upset.  Imagine telling her (or him), "I can't believe you scarfed down those brownies.  You are such a loser."

Um.... probably not.

So what would you say to a friend?    

For starters, how about, "Eating brownies is not a criminal offense so please don't punish yourself."  

Then I'd wonder, "What was going on with you before you ate those brownies?  What were you feeling?  Thinking?  What would be on your mind if you weren't beating yourself up for having brownies?"

Keep in mind:

Stay curious, not critical.

If you wouldn't say it to a friend or a child, don't say it to yourself.

#2 Acknowledge & Ask Questions

If a friend felt physically gross after a binge, I doubt you'd say, "You have no right to your feelings.  You should just suffer, you loser."

Acknowledgment sounds like,  "I know you're feeling terrible.  You feel sad and defeated and upset. What would make you feel better right now?  

Practice saying this to yourself.   "I feel sad and upset.  What will make me feel better?"

Acknowledging emotions is validating.  Asking questions helps you find answers. 
I promise you, that feels way better than calling yourself names!

Take care with your tone

The same words can feel very different depending on what tone you use.  If you ask, "What do I need right now?" in a warm, caring, interested tone, you'll feel good, comforted and safe.

It's quite another to use the same words in a cold, exasperated tone of voice.

Tone is essential.  A soothing tone can feel like a verbal hug.

Talk to yourself as you would talk to someone you care deeply about!  By stopping the criticism and cultivating interest and support, you'll be able to comfort yourself with words.  When that happens, you won't use food for that purpose!

As with everything, practice makes progress.

Take good care of yourself, today and every day!

Dr. Nina


FREE 3 Day Video Training: Crack The Code Of Emotional Eating!

<<<< CLICK HERE >>>>>



    Friday, May 29, 2015

    3 Foundational Steps To Starting Your Weight Loss Journey

    Today's guest blog post is from Kerry Tepedino, a holistic health expert who shares her own experience with disordered eating and her tips for recovery.   

    Take it away, Kerry!

    "...One of the hardest things about being overweight is how you feel about yourself.
    I know, because I’ve been there.

    I want to share a story with you… hopefully one that will help you see that no matter what your current age or size, you can change the direction of your health.

    There was a time when I had an eating addiction and body image disorder. I was prone to binges instead of feeling my feelings, purging to let go of the guilt of the binge, and then doing it all over again.

    It was a deadly, painful cycle that kept me spinning in confusion, frustration, and sadness.

    I remember a defining moment I had when I was driving in my car one day and I clearly understood that I needed to make a decision, for I couldn’t keep living my life this way. I needed to “end it” or decide to heal.

    Thank goodness I decided to heal.

    I dove deep into studying the power of food, meditation, yoga, and self-reflection. I began to sit with my emotions, instead of eating them away. I started to slow down and breathe, instead of filling my plate with more things to do. I stopped hanging out with people who were toxic.

    I want the same for you, so I’ve mapped out some simple steps that can help you get started…

    3 Foundational Steps To Starting Your Weight Loss Journey:

    1)   KNOW YOUR WHY: Ask yourself WHY you want to get healthy. Why is it important to you? This piece is crucial so you push through the days where you want to give up. It will help you stay focused and connected to something bigger for yourself.

    2)   KEEP IT VISIBLE: Once you discover your WHY, write it down and place it in multiple places where you can see it often: the bathroom mirror, next to your bed, at your computer. Keep your WHY at the forefront of your mind and take “mini vacations” throughout the day where you stop, close your eyes, and focus on what your WHY will FEEL like once you’ve attained it.

    3)   SET YOURSELF UP TO WIN: Now that you know your WHY, it’s important to set up the steps you need to attain it. Fill your pantry with healthy, EASY TO GRAB snacks and meals. Set your workout clothes out the night before for the next day. Get an accountability buddy or join a community of like-minded people who are focused on being happy and healthy.

    The key here is to get started right away with these simple steps for anything you put off to “Start tomorrow” may never happen. Otherwise you will continue to get the same results you’ve gotten in the past… and those aren’t working for you anymore.

    As soon as you finish this article, take one inspired action to your goal.

    If I could do it, so can you!"

    About Kerry:

    Kerry Tepedino is an internationally recognized Holistic Health Practitioner, Certified Counselor of Nutrition, and Craniosacral Therapist.  She is also the founder and host of the widely acclaimed Global Health Summit, bringing together world renowned masters of health and mindset, causing transformation in thousands worldwide. 

    Kerry’s personal experience of recovering from an eating disorder and low self esteem led her to master holistic living and create a peaceful mindset, which she now helps others master. Her unique approach of shattering the toxic conversation in one’s head has resulted in her clients breaking addictions, losing weight, increasing energy, and relieving stress, so they can finally have the life and health they deserve.

    Kerry speaks often on live and virtual stages, and has been interviewed on NBC, keynoted SDSU, taught at Whole Foods, writes for the Huffington Post, and more.

    FREE GIFT: Start your 3-part video series “7 Day Weight Loss” for free atwww.kerrytepedino.com!

    Global Health Summit 2015 is FREE online event (http://www.global-health-summit.com). Jump in on these upbeat expert interviews with host Kerry Tepedino. Interviews are filled with weight loss tips that actually work from super star experts in the field. You will learn how to stop yoyo dieting and get EMPOWERED with your health to make peace with food and feel FREE! Join us and discover how to naturally lose weight with lasting results. Grab your spot now we are launching Monday 6/1.
      
    Click HERE to join this free Summit!



    Wednesday, May 13, 2015

    How to Accept Yourself

    When you think about the concept of self-acceptance, what “self” do you think of first?  The one in the mirror?   Because there is so much more to you than meets the eye.  

    In this video, I'll show you how to find a renewed sense of self-acceptance and feel better about yourself. When you feel good, you won't turn to (or against) food to comfort, numb or express yourself.

    Go ahead and WATCH now!





    FREE 3 Day Video Training: Crack The Code Of Emotional Eating!

    <<<< CLICK HERE >>>>>

    • I’ll show you how to track the real triggers, so you can figure out exactly why you’re eating, instead of focusing on food.
    • I’ll help you change your focus because it’s not what you’re eating – it’s what’s eating “at” you.
    • I’ll give you a super-quick diet plan - and guess what? This diet does not involve food. It lasts a short time, but it will impact you for the rest of your life.
    • Even if you think you know everything there is about dieting and emotional eating, I’m here to tell you that there is another way.

    SIGN UP NOW:  https://goo.gl/F9rDIB

      Saturday, May 9, 2015

      Having A Plan Of Recovery

                                                                    

      Eating disorders do not discriminate.  Men, women, boys, and girls of all ages and ethnicities have eating disorders.  

      I'm so pleased to introduce this guest essay from writer Patrick O'Neil, who shares his experience of struggle and hope.  


      Here is his story:






      "Recently I found myself backstage at a show.  I'm not really into shows anymore, especially not large ones.  I used to work in the music industry and I have attended more than my fair share of loud rock and roll concerts.

      But last week when my friend invited me and I tried to make an excuse not to attend, she countered with, “come on, it’ll be fun.” And even though I knew that it wasn’t going to be fun, I somehow let her talk me into it. It’s not just that I don’t really go see live music anymore, it’s also that I’m not the social type. I don’t really enjoy standing around making small talk in a room full of people.

      And yes, my friend is here, and so are her friends, and friends of friends, but it still feels awkward. 
      And now here I am stuck in the corner a of a crowded dressing-room, surrounded by people drinking a ton of alcohol, as some wannabe Hollywood scriptwriter that I have just been introduced to, yammers away about herself. Feeling trapped and disingenuous I try to nod my head in response at the appropriate moments, yet all the while wishing I were anywhere else but here.
      These types of situations are why alcohol was invented. And years ago if I was stuck at such an event I would have headed straight to the booze and after a few quick shots, none of this would have mattered. Only I no longer have that card to play. I used up my “getting loaded” allotment a long time ago. Besides alcohol just wasn’t doing it for me, I needed something much stronger. I needed to feel the warm rush of heroin, and only then was I comfortable enough to deal with life and all the people in it.

      Yet, the same old story prevailed, my addiction took over and what had once helped me cope was now ruling me. I went from being a musician/artist to junkie/criminal, and then my addict career abruptly ended when I was arrested and incarcerated.  I make some lame excuse to free myself from being corralled by the wannabe scriptwriter and slowly back away.

      But when I turn around I’m face to face with a table full of junk food. Band riders always call for snacks, and this one is no exception. There are bowls of chips, cold cuts, pizza and the customary cookies and candy. And herein lies my other addictive behavior—eating. 
      Years before I ever discovered drugs or alcohol I learned to abuse food as a way to suppress my feelings. My parents were more involved in their lives than they were in mine and I was left alone a lot. This led to many hours spent in front of the TV while shoving copious amounts of food into my mouth in an early attempt to lessen the pain of abandonment. Yet something about overeating triggered a self-loathing that was years ahead of my then adolescent self, and I soon found myself purging the junk food I was eating.

      This led to a learned behavior that I didn’t even realize others suffered from. It was something that I thought I had invented. Only my binge eating and purging faded away when I found that drugs and alcohol worked a lot better. Yet now here I was an adult in his fifties with fourteen years clean off drugs and suddenly I’m dealing with bulimia all over again.

      
It was quite a shock when my “dormant” eating disorder returned. I had switched careers and moved to a different city with the idea of reinventing myself. Although I had no connections and little in the way of support, I had high hopes and many expectations that I would be able to piece it all together. Luckily things did come together, but not without a lot of stress. Plus I was attempting to achieve greater goals in my life than I had ever tried before. 

      And with this all came an anxiety that I was ill prepared for. I experienced panic attacks for the first time in my life, and then, seeking that old familiar solace, I started abusing food. Segue to four years later and I was purging on a daily basis, only with years of recovery from drugs and alcohol under my belt I figured I should be more evolved than that, which led to even more guilt and shame, and instead of seeking help I pretended it just wasn't there. But my teeth and gums were suffering, I was not losing weight, I was gaining, I was getting more and more depressed and I constantly felt that I was living a lie.

      
Eventually I was so stressed out that I told my Narcotics Anonymous sponsor. He has worked with me for years and even though this wasn’t about drugs, it was about my addictive behaviors. Surprisingly, well at least to me it was, my sponsor totally understood, in fact he himself has issues around overeating.  Yet when he pointed out that the first step of NA states: “We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction; that our lives had become unmanageable.” I realized just how powerless and unmanageable my life had once again become.

      But this also gave me hope. I have fourteen years clean off drugs and alcohol and I have kept clean by attending meetings, working the 12 steps, and maintaining a rigorous involvement in the program. My situation had originally seemed so hopeless, yet here I was years later still off drugs. I could do this with my eating disorder.

      A week ago I went to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. It had been years since I’d attended one, and unlike that first time when I was new to the idea of recovery, and not quite able to grasp the concept that it could also help me with my bulimia, this time I felt totally at home.

      Instead of just being a silent observer I introduced myself and shared my struggle. I was given a newcomer packet and phone numbers. And I walked out of there with a renewed sense of hope. I have yet to implement an OA plan of recovery, but I am taking it one day at a time, and feel like I am finally in the solution.

      I survey the food table and spot a platter of crudités, arranged around a bowl of gloppy blue cheese dip. I fill a small plate with broccoli florets, celery stalks, and baby carrots and slowly start eating them. Having something healthy to munch on takes my mind off the junk food, which lessens the cravings, and I am able to not indulge in any of the other snacks that I know will trigger another episode of purging. 

      A quick glance across the room and I see that the wannabe scriptwriter has captured another victim, and the crowd by the liquor has grown considerably. The show is now over and the backstage area has become incredibly even more crowded. I casually make my way towards the exit and walk outside. The cool air hits me and I toss the empty paper plate into the trashcan. 

      I have another day of not eating badly or purging, and I know I can do this."

      Patrick O’Neil is a nonfiction writer from Hollywood, California. His work has appeared in numerous publications, including: Juxtapoz magazine, Salon.com, The Weeklings, RazorcakeSensitive Skin, Fourteen Hills, and Word Riot. He has been nominated twice for Best of the Net, and is a regular contributor to the recovery website AfterPartyMagazine. Patrick holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Antioch University Los Angeles and teaches at AULA’s inspiration2publication program. His upcoming online course: Food Is Not The Enemy: The Language Of Eating Disorders, will allow writers of all levels to address their eating disorders, fears, and negative self-images. 

      Patrick’s debut memoir: Gun Needle Spoon, from Dzanc Books, will be available June 9, 2015 — an excerpted in part French translation, Hold-Up (13e Note Editions) was published in France in 2013. For more information please go to: www.patrick-oneil.com

      Gun, Needle, Spoon is also available on Amazon: http://goo.gl/UK15Yf

      *          *          *          

      FREE 3 Day Video Training: Crack The Code Of Emotional Eating!

      <<<< CLICK HERE >>>>>


      • I’ll show you how to track the real triggers, so you can figure out exactly why you’re eating, instead of focusing on food.
      • I’ll help you change your focus because it’s not what you’re eating – it’s what’s eating “at” you.
      • I’ll give you a super-quick diet plan - and guess what? This diet does not involve food. It lasts a short time, but it will impact you for the rest of your life.
      • Even if you think you know everything there is about dieting and emotional eating, I’m here to tell you that there is another way.

      SIGN UP HERE:  https://goo.gl/F9rDIB




      Sunday, April 19, 2015

      What You NEED to Know About Comfort Food

      Ever wonder, "Why food?" 

      Dr. Nina explains WHY you use food to cope and she tells you exactly what you need to do to change. Watch now!





      COMING SOON!  My new 30 Day Challenge:  Kick The Diet Habit.

      Sign up now and you'll be on the VIP List, and be the first to receive my FREE 3 Day Video Training: Crack The Code Of Emotional Eating (available May 2nd). 

      Don't miss out!  Click HERE now!

      Friday, April 17, 2015

      How The "F" Word Affects Your Weight

      I am a big fan of the "F" word.

      It's not what you might think.  It's not "fat" or "food" (and it's not the other "F" word, either!).  I'm talking about this word:

      Feelings

      Part of what makes us all human is our ability to feel emotions, so having emotions is part of what makes us feel truly alive.  However, we live in a culture that tells us there's something wrong with our feelings.

      Angry?  You have an anger management problem.

      Sad?  Take an anti-depressant. 

      Anxious?  There's a pill for that, too.

      Scared?  Be strong!  Fight!  Don't give in to fear!

      Happy?  You might be a bit too happy.  Hypomanic, maybe?

      No wonder people often have difficulty recognizing that emotions, needs, desires and reactions are part of being human, not a defect.  A feeling is a reaction to a situation, not a reflection of your character. 

      When you cannot identify or process uncomfortable or intolerable feelings, because the mere existence of those feelings is viewed as weak, bad or wrong, you may turn to food as a way of dealing with those feelings.  

      Food can't take away feelings.  As counterintuitive as it may sound, the only way to actually get rid of feelings is to actually feel them.    

      Check out these three common feelings:

      1) ANGER: Annoyance, frustration, rage and fury are all derivatives of anger.  It helps to make a gauge of what you're feeling.  On a scale of 1-10, what's a 10?  Rage?  Fury? 

      What's a 2?  Frustration?  Annoyance?  

      If you don't gauge your feelings, every emotion seems like a 10.  Everything feels like too much.  And if your feelings are overwhelming, you're more vulnerable to turning to food (or from it) for relief.

      Check in with yourself about your conflict over anger by finishing these sentences.

      I don't like getting angry because:

      I'm afraid to feel angry because it reminds me of:

      2)  SADNESS:  Gloomy, unhappy, glum, hurt, dejected, depressed, grieving, are all forms of sadness. 

      I don't like feeling sad because:

      I'm afraid to feel sad because it reminds me of:

      3)  HAPPINESS: You might be thinking, "Happiness is a good thing.  All I want is to be happy! "

      Some people are afraid of being "too" happy, fearful that the rug will be pulled out from under them.  They are afraid they'll lose that good feeling, so they sabotage themselves.  

      Food is also associated with celebration and reward.  We commemorate birthdays, achievements and transitions food and allow ourselves a "treat" for a job well done.  If food is associated with special celebrations, it's difficult not to eat or overeat on those occasions.

      I'll know when I'm happy when:

      If I let myself be happy, then:

      When you can identify, gauge, and process a range of emotions, you won't need food to escape, numb or distract yourself from them.

      And that's how you make peace with food!

      Here's a video on this topic:




      COMING SOON!  My new 30 Day Challenge:  Kick The Diet Habit.

      Sign up now and you'll be on the VIP List, and be the first to receive my FREE 3 Day Video Training: Crack The Code Of Emotional Eating (available May 2nd). 

      Don't miss out!  Click HERE now!








      Friday, April 3, 2015

      Do You Think People Are Judging You? Here's What To Do...

      When you walk into a room filled with strangers, what are your initial thoughts?

      Do you think the best?   All these people are interested in me and can't wait to meet me!

      Or the worst?   Everyone thinks I'm fat... boring... stupid.

      Sometimes these judgmental thoughts are automatic, as in the following examples:

      • Alyssa sat on the couch in my office, telling me about her weekend "stay-cation" of watching movies at home.   As I listened,  she suddenly stopped talking and sighed, saying, "You're right, I should have done some work this weekend.  I can't believe how lazy I am."
      •  Corinne wept in frustration as she described a recent problem at work.  She blew her nose and shook her head, apologetically.  "You probably think I'm such a crybaby."
      • My friend Bettina and I had dinner recently, and she ordered dessert.  She gave me a sheepish look.  "I know what you're thinking.  I have no business eating tiramisu.
      They thought they knew what I was thinking.   They were wrong!

      Each of these people  projected her own critical thoughts about themselves onto me.   Why?  

      Alyssa's father was a workaholic and accused her of being a slacker.  She thought I was viewing her through her father's eyes. 

      Corinne grew up in a family that did not tolerate emotions or tears, which were viewed as signs of weakness.  She imagined that I was viewing her tears contemptuously. 

      Bettina's mother constantly monitored her weight, and Bettina thought I was doing so, too.

      Those fears can make you want to isolate from other people, leaving you vulnerable to using food in any one of the following ways:   to fill an emptiness, to be a friend, for comfort, numbness, and escape.  

      Here's some "food for thought" to consider:

      What do you think others are thinking about you?   Are they critical?  Kind?  Indifferent?  Angry?

      Who viewed you that way in the past?   How are those thoughts familiar?

      What is another way to view yourself and the situation?  What would you say to someone else in your position?   

       
      Here's what I was ACTUALLY thinking, by the way, about Alyssa, Corinne and Bettina:

      It's important to relax over the weekend and recharge your batteries.
      It's healthy to cry if you're upset.
      It's okay to eat dessert, or anything, in moderation

      Don't be a mind reader! ('cause you're probably not really psychic!)

      When you think the worst, you feel terrible, and may eat to cope.  

      When you believe others are interested in you, you feel less anxious/upset/guarded and are therefore less likely to turn to food.

      That's how you make peace with food!

      COMING SOON!  My new 30 Day Challenge:  Kick The Diet Habit.

      Sign up now and you'll be on the VIP List, and be the first to receive my FREE 3 Day Video Training: Crack The Code Of Emotional Eating (available May 2nd). 

      Don't miss out!  Click HERE now!


      If you haven't already done so,  JOIN MY LIST!

      SIGN UP NOW & I'll send you a FREE blueprint: 25 Ways To Cope (Without Food).  

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