Monday, December 11, 2017

"One bite won't hurt you!"

Recently one of the listeners to my radio show wrote in and asked how to get food pushers to back off.  

She said, "People who say, 'Oh, come on, it's the Holidays. Just this one time. It's a time for indulgence." Or hosts who say, "You barely ate anything. Have some more. It's just a little." 

She wanted to know what to do about hosts who put the food on your plate rather than letting people put take own portions. 

(Or worse, what to do about the dreaded buffet party).

Here are my recommendations:

Prepare clever comebacks

Benjamin Franklin once said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”  Conversely, by preparing, you will succeed!

Going home for the holidays can cause a temporary regression.  If you feel like a five year old as soon as you step through the doors of your childhood home, it can be difficult to retain your adult self. 

Having snappy comments at the ready will help get you through.

For people who say, "One bite won't hurt you." (or something like that)

Respond with one of the following comebacks:

"In that case, only give me one bite."
"You're very interested in what I'm eating, aren't you?"
"Would you tell someone who's trying to smoke that one cigarette won't hurt?  Would you tell an alcoholic that one sip of alcohol won't hurt?"  

(I don't believe in food addiction, which I discuss in this post, but the point of these comebacks is to get people to back off, and this strategy is very effective).

For hosts who dole out food, it's perfectly acceptable to say, "Thank you so much, but I'll take my own."

If they say, "I insist on serving you myself" (which, is highly unlikely), say, with a smile, "You're working too hard, so I insist on helping you by fixing my own plate."

As for buffets, it may be helpful to ask a friend to make you a light and healthy plate, which helps you avoid temptation.

The point here is not to defend or explain, but to challenge these food pushers and put them on the defensive.

It also helps to be ready for comments and questions about your food choices and your weight, such as:

“Do you really need to eat that?” 
“You’ve put on a few pounds since last year.”

There are three ways to deal with these types of comments.

Set limits:

“I’m not discussing what I’m eating or how much I weigh. Period.”
“I don’t like speaking about my weight, so I prefer you don’t bring it up.”

Use Humor:

“No, I don’t need that.  But I sure do want it.  Is there a problem?”
“My weight is a number and it’s unlisted.”
“Thank you for noticing.  And here I thought nobody paid attention to me.”
“Absolutely right.  Curvy is the new black, didn’t you hear?”
“Wow, I actually HAVE gained weight.  Thank you for letting me know because otherwise it would have completely escaped my attention.”


So what?  What’s new with you?
Maybe.  So how are you these days?
My weight really isn’t that interesting to me.  What are your plans for next year?

If they tell you that they are only asking because they are worried about your health, say:

“I appreciate your concern, but I do not want to discuss this.”

And, remind yourself:  this is TEMPORARY.   Before you know it, the New Year will be here and you will have gotten through the holidays without gaining weight!

Haven't heard my show yet?  Listen LIVE here on LA Talk Radio or get all the episodes on iTunes.

Here's that link again:

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Here's A No-Guilt Halloween Treat

Do you think the scariest thing about Halloween is all the candy?  I remember how I used to buy all the candy I didn't like (hello, candy corn) just so I wouldn't be tempted.  I wanted to give you a Halloween treat that is 100 percent guilt-free and calorie-free, too.  Here are my tips for how to get through Halloween:

1.  Afraid of the dark?  The scariest thoughts are the dark ideas you have about yourself.  Keep out thoughts like, "I suck" or "I'm too fat/stupid/ugly" or "Who would love me?"    Those thoughts just make you feel terrible about yourself.  And that's truly frightening.

2. Got ghosts?  If the ghosts of the past are haunting you, it's time to deal with them.  If you had a critical parent, teacher or sibling, and you find yourself being equally critical to yourself, that critical voice belongs to others, not to you.  Find your authentic voice, and view yourself as you are, not as others treated you.

3.  Give yourself a treat.  If you find yourself saying, "I'm going to be good this Halloween and not eat a single piece of candy," or "I was so bad because I ate that pumpkin cheesecake," then you're connecting your character to what you eat.  Allow yourself to eat candy on Halloween without feeling guilty.  Deprivation or anticipation of deprivation leads to overeating.   If you give yourself permission to have candy you may actually eat less!


4. Living a zombie life?  Do you feel as if you're the walking dead, doing the same thing day after day, not truly enjoying your life to the fullest?  If so, bring yourself back to life.  Think about one thing that you've been waiting to do "one day" and make today the day you start working towards doing that thing.  If you want to run a marathon, go for a walk or a short run.  If you want to start dating, go online and check out some dating sites.

5.  Be playful.  Remember the fun of going out with your friends on Halloween?  This occasion is about being with other people, dressing up, and having fun.  So, have a great time!!

So there you have it, some calorie-free "food for thought" to help you have the best day possible.  And here's a thought:  keep treating yourself this way every day.

Have A Happy Halloween!

Want more support on your journey?  If you want to stop bingeing, you probably know there’s definitely more to it than willpower. That's why I created the Kick The Diet Habit program.  

If you're struggling with food, it's because you haven't gotten to the real reason you eat, binge or constantly diet.   That's because the root of your behavior is outside your awareness - it's deep in your unconscious.  And, you can't solve a problem that you can't see.

I developed this program to show you how to access your unconscious and get to the source of your eating problems, so you can truly heal.  Check it out at: