Wednesday, July 13, 2011


What if you believed all drivers in Los Angeles are rude? You’d drive a stretch of freeway and encounter drivers who cut you off, flip you off, or are too busy texting to notice they’ve veered into your lane. In other words, you’d be right about L.A. drivers. The worst!

But what if you believed L.A. drivers are nice? You’d drive the same stretch of freeway and encounter drivers who slow to let you into their lane, give a friendly wave, and drive safely. In other words, you’d be right about L.A. drivers. The best!

So which is the truth? The answer is: both.

Generally people find the evidence they look for, filtering out what contradicts their viewpoints and focusing on that which confirms their beliefs. This is also true of the ideas people have about themselves, their likeability or lovability.

What negative beliefs do you hold about yourself?
ie, “That guy I met at a party last week didn’t call me. I must not be pretty or thin enough.”

What actual evidence do you have to support these ideas?
“When I was thinner, I had a boyfriend. “ (this is not evidence; it’s selective interpretation)

What about alternate evidence?
“I weighed the most in college, and I had the nicest boyfriend at that time. We had a lot in common and we had fun together. I guess it isn’t all about my weight.”

Where did these beliefs come from?
“My older sister is gorgeous and she always had guys calling. I grew up thinking that I had to look a certain way to be acceptable to others."

What’s an alternate notion you can hold about yourself?
“I’m caring, loyal and fun. I don’t have to look perfect to be likeable and lovable!"

This weekend in Los Angeles the 405 freeway is closing for repairs and improvements. People are calling it "Carmageddon." Wherever you live, why not take this time to make internal repairs to outdated and erroneous ideas you have about yourself and your self worth. Pave them over with new beliefs, to make the road of life easier to travel.

When you feel good about yourself, when you value yourself and stay interested in your thoughts, emotions, needs, and wants, you are less inclined to turn to or against food as a way to deal with uncomfortable situations, emotions and internal conflicts.

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Legal Disclaimer:  The content on this site is for educational and informational purposes only.  It is not intended as psychotherapy or as a substitute for psychotherapy advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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