Monday, August 22, 2011

Starving for love?

Disordered eating can be an expression of an internal conflict about needs. We all have basic human needs for love, attention, comfort, and so forth. If those needs are not met, or not consistently met, people feel humiliated about having needs. That’s when “needs” are seen as “neediness” and experienced as something negative, to be avoided.
Those struggling with anorexia resolve this conflict by restricting food, and often relationships. The unconscious thought is: “I don’t need anything, not food and not friends.”
Men and women dealing with binge eating resolve this conflict by attaching all their needs to food. They unconsciously believe: “People can’t be trusted to meet my needs consistently so I will have a relationship with food, which is always available, always consistent and fills up my internal emptiness.”
People struggling with bulimia combine the two strategies by expressing their needs by binging, and then purging their perceived neediness. Their unconscious thought: “I need so much, so I will binge. But I hate that I have needs, so I will purge!”

What do you need more of in your life?

In what areas of your life do you feel deprive?

What’s it like to think about your own needs and wants?

When you change your relationship to yourself, your relationship to food will change, too!

Comments and questions are welcome.  Please share on Facebook and/or Twitter so more people can benefit from the information on this blog.

"Like" me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter

Legal Disclaimer:  The content on this site is for educational and informational purposes only.  It is not intended as psychotherapy or as a substitute for psychotherapy advice, diagnosis or treatment.

1 comment:

Brenda said...

I have been accused of being needy. That actually is one of the worst insults ever. It's hard to be accused of that especially when I normally don't even like to be vulnerable and let people in. Then when I do...bam! All of the sudden I'm needy?

Oh, and yes. Food never lets me down, so I like to tell myself. I know in the end it could cause health problems if I continue to overeat.