Make Peace With Food: "One bite won't hurt you!"

Recently one of the listeners to my radio show wrote in and asked how to get food pushers to back off.

She said, "People who say, 'Oh, come on, it's the Holidays. Just this one time. It's a time for indulgence." Or hosts who say, "You barely ate anything. Have some more. It's just a little."

She wanted to know what to do about hosts who put the food on your plate rather than letting people put take own portions.

(Or worse, what to do about the dreaded buffet party).

Here are my recommendations:

Prepare clever comebacks

Benjamin Franklin once said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” Conversely, by preparing, you will succeed!

Going home for the holidays can cause a temporary regression. If you feel like a five year old as soon as you step through the doors of your childhood home, it can be difficult to retain your adult self.

Having snappy comments at the ready will help get you through.

For people who say, "One bite won't hurt you." (or something like that)

Respond with one of the following comebacks:

"In that case, only give me one bite."

"You're very interested in what I'm eating, aren't you?"

"Would you tell someone who's trying to smoke that one cigarette won't hurt? Would you tell an alcoholic that one sip of alcohol won't hurt?"

(I don't believe in food addiction, which I discuss in this post, but the point of these comebacks is to get people to back off, and this strategy is very effective).

For hosts who dole out food, it's perfectly acceptable to say, "Thank you so much, but I'll take my own."

If they say, "I insist on serving you myself" (which, is highly unlikely), say, with a smile, "You're working too hard, so I insist on helping you by fixing my own plate."

As for buffets, it may be helpful to ask a friend to make you a light and healthy plate, which helps you avoid temptation.

The point here is not to defend or explain, but to challenge these food pushers and put them on the defensive.

It also helps to be ready for comments and questions about your food choices and your weight, such as:

“Do you really need to eat that?”

“You’ve put on a few pounds since last year.”

There are three ways to deal with these types of comments.

Set limits:

“I’m not discussing what I’m eating or how much I weigh. Period.”

“I don’t like speaking about my weight, so I prefer you don’t bring it up.”

Use Humor:

“No, I don’t need that. But I sure do want it. Is there a problem?”

“My weight is a number and it’s unlisted.”

“Thank you for noticing. And here I thought nobody paid attention to me.”

“Absolutely right. Curvy is the new black, didn’t you hear?”

“Wow, I actually HAVE gained weight. Thank you for letting me know because otherwise it would have completely escaped my attention.”

Deflect:

So what? What’s new with you?

Maybe. So how are you these days?

My weight really isn’t that interesting to me. What are your plans for next year?

If they tell you that they are only asking because they are worried about your health, say:

“I appreciate your concern, but I do not want to discuss this.”

And, remind yourself: this is TEMPORARY. Before you know it, the New Year will be here and you will have gotten through the holidays without gaining weight!

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