Friday, November 20, 2015

How To Know What You're Feeling

Several years ago my patient Bonnie's husband joined our session so he could better understand her binge eating.   
I explained that her binges were a "symptom" of an underlying problem, not "the" problem.  

Bonnie was coping with her emotions by turning to food .  Our job was to focus on what was eating "at" her rather than what she was eating.

Her husband said that in his opinion, Bonnie lacked willpower. 

Bonnie broke down sobbing. Her husband made no move to comfort her.

I was struck by his indifference.  I asked, "What does it feel like to see your wife crying?" 

He sighed. "I feel like she just needs to go on a diet and lose weight. Then she'll feel better about herself."

That couple is now divorced (no surprise, right?).

Bonnie's husband thought he was expressing a feeling but in fact was expressing his thoughts and opinion.  In fact, many people say they "feel" something when in fact they are "thinking" a thought.

Many people have difficulty identifying their emotions.  Or, if they know what they're feeling, they are not sure how to express themselves. 

Recently I discovered a way to answer those questions - and it's fun! Feeling Magnets is a tool to help you identify and understand your emotions.  

Intrigued?  Here's the creator of Feeling Magnets to tell you more!  

"Growing up we learn an array of life skills. We learn to count, calculate and measure.  We discover how to write, spell and write poetry.  We focus on getting through school, having a career and perhaps starting a family. 

Yet we don’t really learn to “feel”. 

We don’t learn about emotions or how to navigate them in a healthy way.

We often struggle to know what we are feeling and to distinguish between feelings and thoughts. The result: we become disconnected from our emotions.

We suppress them with food, shopping, drinking or other distractions  - and all the consequences that come from that (being overweight, having credit debts, staying insanely busy until we reach burnout, and so on).

The founders of Feeling Magnets set out to change that. 

The first step?  Recognizing and naming feelings.  

Sounds so easy right? Well… not so much. 

We created Feeling Magnets to help us along this journey.  Now, we can help you!

Feeling Magnets supports you on your journey to reconnecting with your emotions.  They help you recognize what you feel, accept those feelings and navigate them.

They help you build a healthy relationship with your emotions instead of suppressing them with food.  This is how they work their magic:

1. Naming emotions. There is a remarkable power in finding the right words for what you feel.   Feeling Magnets support you in recognizing and naming your emotions.

2. Crisis management.  When you’re triggered, checking in with your feelings before opening the fridge, is powerful. 

Identifying emotions changes the focus of your mind away from the food. Sifting through the feelings allows the urge to.

3. Breaking patterns.  Recently one woman shared how Feeling Magnets helped her realize she felt guilt and shame when she telephoned her mother-in-law.  For years she had a “snack” right afterwards. As soon as she connected the dots, she was able to change this pattern.

4. Playful discovery. Some of the most insightful discoveries can happen in the least expected times and places. We made Feeling Magnets portable, so that they can go wherever you go!

As founders of Feeling Magnets, we realize how many aspects of our lives are impacted by our ability to process our emotions. 

We believe that if you don’t deprive yourself of feeling your emotions, you don’t need to deprive ourselves of anything that you love (including food) and that you will also achieve balance."

Feeling Magnets give you everything you need to process your emotions.   Check it out now:

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