Showing posts with label hunger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hunger. Show all posts

Thursday, January 12, 2017

8 Powerful Principles for Transforming Your Child’s (and YOUR) Relationship with Food


Do you worry about your kids and food?  

Lots of people tell me that they're working on their relationship to food and don't want their children to go through what they've gone through.   They ask, "How can I make sure my kids grow up with a different attitude towards food and their bodies?"


I'm thrilled to introduce Maryann Jacobsen, who has the answer to that question and more.  In this guest blog post, she shares how to transform your child's relationship to food - and I think you'll find that her advice applies to everyone, not just kids.


8 Powerful Principles for Transforming Your Child’s Relationship with Food

It can be challenging to raise kids who feel good about eating and their body. The good news is we know so much more today about how a child’s relationship with food develops than we did just ten years ago. Research gives us clues on what parents can do to spare their little ones much of the agony many of us experienced growing up. Unfortunately, this is not common knowledge (yet).

So today, I’m sharing with you tidbits from my latest book about raising a mindful eater, someone who eats for nourishment and enjoyment, listens to their body and naturally eats in moderation. Here’s a summary of the 8 Principles that have the biggest impact:

1. Structure Meals and Snacks at the Table: Serving predictably-timed meals and snacks at a designated place is a lifesaver. Structured meals help children develop self control around food and learn how to manage their hunger. It also means they don’t get in the habit of eating out of boredom, to ease difficult feelings, or because food is there (external eating).

2. Allow Hunger and Fullness to Guide Eating: Once children sit down to those meals and snacks, allow them to decide when they are done eating, encouraging them to listen to hunger and fullness. In one study, young adults who let hunger and fullness guide eating had lower BMIs and less disordered eating than those who didn’t.

3. Neutralize the Power of Goodies: Kids are naturally drawn to what I call “goodies’ due to their growth and development. But all the attention parents give these foods (negative and positive) makes it even worse. For example, using dessert to reward good behavior or taking it away when a child doesn’t behave, only makes goodies more salient. Avoid giving so much attention to these foods, and kids won’t give as much attention to them.

4. Make Nutrition a Rewarding Part of Eating: Research suggests that as children get older they view nutritious food as less tasty than less-than nutritious foods. Instead of nagging them to eat healthy, find tasty ways to include nutritious food as part of your child’s diet and get them involved with meal prep. Let them see how balanced eating (not single foods) enhances what is most important to them (sports, dance, learning, etc.).

5. Put Pleasure at the Center of Your Table: Too often our culture pairs food pleasure with gluttony, while in countries like France work “enjoy your food” into dietary guidelines. Research shows enjoyment is linked to less picky eating and better eating overall. Plus, families with a positive food environment fare better health-wise than those with a negative or hostile food environment.  

6. Teach Body Appreciation: According to a report from the American Academy of Pediatrics, 50% of girls and 25% of boys feel bad about their body’s shape and size. Body dissatisfaction is linked to unhealthy weight control practices that can wreak havoc on a child’s relationship with food. Parents need to open up a dialogue about how children feel about their body, the media’s Thin Ideal, and the importance of self-care.

7. Deal with Stress Effectively: Kids are stressed-out today and surveys show parents often miss it. Teaching kids how to deal with stress is important because it can negatively impact their eating, health, and well-being. Of the utmost importance is what I call the trifecta of self care -- sleep, activity and balanced eating. Uncovering hidden stressors -- and learning to manage them -- is vital, too.

8. Connect with Your Kids: People are hardwired for connection, and children are no different. When kids don’t feel connected to their parents, friends and community, they are more likely to look to other things (food, alcohol, spending) to feel better or glom on to external goals (looks, popularity, grades) to get attention. Making sure we stay connected, even when it’s hard, can go a long way towards helping children understand their value.

Parents who practice these 8 Principles significantly increase the chance their children will develop a healthy relationship with food and their bodies. And what parent doesn’t want that?

Maryann Jacobsen, MS, RD, is an independent author, family nutrition expert, and author of the newly released book How to Raise a MindfulEater: 8 Powerful Principles for Transforming Your Child’s Relationship with Food. You can find out more about her books, blog, and podcast at MaryannJacobsen.com.



Wednesday, February 10, 2016

It feels like hunger, but...














What are you hungry for right now?  

Food?  Or is it a deeper hunger, for something emotionally, intellectually, creatively, and/or spiritually fulfilling?
  • A sense of trust and safety – even when you’re not your best self
  • Feeling appreciated for your quirks instead of apologizing for them
  • A really strong physical connection with a partner
  • Deep and meaningful conversations 
As you know, I do NOT view bingeing or problem eating as an addiction (although it sure may "feel" like an addiction).   It's a coping strategy that helps you deal with painful, upsetting emotions and conflicts.  

It helps but it also hurts.

Why food?

A woman once asked me, “Why can’t I turn to meth when I’m upset?  At least I’d be skinny.”

Shocking, huh?  Here’s what I told her:

Our first experience of   bonding is of being held, gazing into the eyes of another, and being fed. Turning to comfort food expresses a wish to be comforted by another.

Understood in this way, our psyches equate food with relationship and people.

You're less likely to turn to food when you're in fulfilling relationships.  Not just romantically, but close and meaningful friendships. 

How do you create change?

If you do nothing, nothing will change.  You'll have to step outside your comfort zone (you can do it!!!).  Try one of these strategies:

Invite a neighbor, coworker or friend out to coffee
Find a class or lecture in your area and say hello to the person sitting next to you
Go to the library or bookstore and ask for book recommendations
Join a book club
Take a yoga class
Join a support group

When you experience the sweetness of love, affection and genuine acceptance, you won't use chocolate as a substitute (whether you turn to it or from it).

That leads to a natural and lasting relationship to food.  And that's how you make peace with food!!

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Wednesday, January 27, 2016

How To Stop Feeling HUNGRY

Do you often feel hungry, no matter how much you eat? 

Ever wonder why? 

Consider this:
Recently, my eight-year-old complained of a really bad stomach ache.  I ruled out the common culprits:  food poisoning, the flu, or allergies.  

Turns out she was nervous about going back to school after the holiday break.

Her anxiety was expressed in a painful tummy.  How did I know?  Because talking about her worries made the pain stop.

That’s just one example of the emotional-to-physical connection.  Another is hunger.

There really is a mind-body connection.

Yearning, wanting or needing MORE of something or someone may be experienced as actual hunger.  Think about these expressions:

·      Hungry for love
·      Starving for attention

Being hungry for "more" of something like love, attention, friendship, understanding, money, security, and so forth, may be experienced as actual physical hunger.

What are you hungry for in your life (that isn't food)?  

When you translate "body language" into wishes, emotions and/or needs, you won't express or resolve those feelings or conflicts with food.

Your body is talking to you.   Listen closely!

If you want more examples and ideas about this mind-body connection, click the link below to watch the video. 


Remember that food/weight/body issues are symptoms of problems or conflicts. They are not "the" problem (even though it sure feels that way).  





Friday, September 11, 2015

How To Trust Your Food Choices




You know how when you get a new car, suddenly you see that same car everywhere?

I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of trust, lately (for an upcoming book chapter), and suddenly it seems that everyone is talking about trust.

“I don't trust if I'm really hungry for food or if it's emotional hunger. It’s hard to know the difference.”

“Intuitive eating?  What in the world is that?”

“I’m afraid if I give myself permission to eat whatever I want, I’ll start eating pizza and ice cream and I won’t stop.  Ever.  Seriously.  I’ll never stop.

The idea that you can trust yourself to know what your body needs, or that you can trust yourself to stop eating forbidden food once you’ve started may seem as likely as jet-packing to the moon an hour from now.

As someone recently put it, “That might be true for normal people.  But my body will tell me that I need pizza.”

So, how do you learn to trust yourself when it comes to food?

#1 Learn to discern the difference between physical and emotional hunger. 

Signs that you’re physically hungry
  • ·      Growling, gurgling stomach
  • ·      Feeling light-headed
  • ·      Getting a headache (especially if you haven’t eaten for some hours)


Signs that you're emotionally hungry
  • ·      A specific food "sounds good" or "looks good"
  • ·      You want to reward yourself
  • ·      You want to calm down or feel better


#2 Identify the underlying triggers

Are you upset, sad, angry?  
Express those feelings in words, not actions

Are you lonely? 
Call a friend or be a friend to yourself.  When you are alone with a critical part of you, it’s very lonely indeed, but when you cultivate a part of yourself that can be responsive and kind, you achieve solitude, not loneliness.

Are you anxious?
Calm your body by using muscle relaxation exercises or walking, working out, or anything physical.  A relaxed body is the first step to relaxing your mind.

Are you bored?
Do something!  And ask yourself if you’re bored or lonely.

Are you exhausted or sleepy?  
If you use food to perk yourself up when you’re tired, that’s not emotional hunger, but it is the wrong response to exhaustion.  When you’re tired, you need to rest.   Food won’t perk you up for long.  Your body needs rest, not food.

#3 Put off eating for three minutes and see what happens

If you’re physically hungry, you’ll probably get a little bit hungrier (but not so hungry that you will lose control).   If you’re emotionally hungry, the urgency may pass and you may feel more reflective and less reactive.

When you identify whether you are hungry for food or eating to resolve an internal conflict or state, it’s easier to make healthy food choices!   And that's how you make peace with food for good!

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Want even more support on your journey?  I can help!  Imagine feeling FREE of food cravings and being at peace, all without dieting (yes, it is possible)!

Sign up for my FREE 3 Day Challenge to crack the code of emotional eating:  https://winthedietwar.clickfunnels.com/crack-the-code