Saturday, May 11, 2013

Baby, Baby


Ever notice how attentive new mothers are to their babies?

Recently my friend Heather came over with her new daughter.   When baby began to cry, Heather tried to figure out what was wrong.  Was the baby tired?  Hungry?  In need of a diaper change?  Did she just need to be held?

The baby was crying because she needed comfort.  As I watched Heather tend to her child, I reflected how nice it would be if people treated themselves with the same amount of interest and concern that they show for babies.    Those who struggle with disordered eating often are hostile to their most basic needs, whether for food, sleep, love, connection, or comfort.

Some mothers use food to meet every need.  If the baby cries, she may be tired, hungry, wet or just cranky, but the response is the same: she gets fed.

Imagine a baby's perspective. You’re tired and need a nap, so you cry.  Mom comes over right away, but instead of putting you down for a soothing rest, she provides a bottle.  You learn that your need for rest will be resolved with food.  You may even start to confuse the need for rest with hunger.  If this happens repeatedly, you may even start feeling hungry when you’re tired.

Do you recognize and meet your needs for soothing, for connection, rest, and so forth?  Or are you hostile to those needs, angry at "giving in" to hunger or using food to comfort and distract from difficult, upsetting feelings?

How were you comforted as a child?  What was helpful?  What was missing?

What can you do differently to "baby" yourself?  Recognizing and validating your needs is an important first step.

What do you need more of in your life?  Connection?  Recognition?  Love?  Time?  Rest?

Your needs and wants require validation and attention, not  condemnation.

Baby yourself, today and every day!

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1 comment:

Unknown said...

Wow! what a powerful though, its the confusion thats start from our childhood! we tend to generalise how we feel, feeling is the indication of what part to take, the better you feel! its a green light to go/ do the worse you feel, its a no! no! its a no go area 'for you'anyone else have to follow how they feel, yes our parents, friends, society have opinions, believes and even think they know how you suppose to feel, but you should take time know yourself, know what you want, know how you want to look like and start believing in yourself you we'll make good decisions and necessary steps to better your life, no metter what is the next person says, if one know Self, their joureny is clear,evryone will love you regardless, one who don't know 'Self,I Am, live his/her life in confusion because they can only follow the croud,do what is everybody doing and ignore their 'Feelings' which is your trusted, most important guid we all have.
Baby yourself, today and every day! great post thank you