We’re human beings,
not human doings!
Our society values
productivity and accomplishment. If you grow up in a family (and a culture)
that is primarily or solely interested in what you're doing, accomplishing and achieving, you learn to value yourself by being productive;
it becomes the basis of self-esteem.
When others express
interest only in your accomplishments, you learn to value yourself only for what
you have achieved. When others dismiss
or devalue your feelings, you learn to do the same. Feelings become frightening and a source of
anxiety. Disordered eating is a way of coping with those feelings. So is staying busy and focused on
achievements.
Doing can serve as a distraction from your
emotions. It can take the form of:
*Working all the time
*Going online all the
time
*Going to the gym
*Running errands
*Having the TV on all
the time
*Going out and seeing
friends all the time
*Thinking about what
you need to do next/making lists
*Thinking about
calories, fat grams, the number on the scale
Being puts you in
touch with your emotions. It looks like this:
*Being alone
*Staying aware of thoughts and feelings
*Comforting and soothing yourself with words
*Relaxing
How do you keep busy?
How did you learn to
use “doing” to escape “feeling”?
What happens if you
are alone with yourself?
What are you afraid
you might think?
What are you afraid
you might feel?
When you can "be" with yourself and process any feelings or conflicts you might experience, you are less vulnerable to turning to (or from) food to distract yourself from those uncomfortable states.
* * * * *
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your relationship to food
(without actually talking about food).
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