Rethink the coronavirus (a different take)

I want to quickly check in and give you a different take on the coronavirus…

(Something almost nobody is talking about)

By now, the virus is “getting worse” by the day and spreading throughout the globe.

I have no idea what’s going to happen next.  Almost nobody does.

But all this uncertainty can cause a lot of anxiety and panic…

And when you see empty grocery stores…

Schools shutting down…

People being advised to stay inside…

It’s hard not to feel like an epidemic is upon us.

So if you’re feeling worried about all this, here’s what you can do:

Stay with “What IS” (instead of “What IF”)

“What if” refers to fear about the future.

What if this gets worse?
What if I get the coronavirus?
What if I can’t pay my bills?

When you have here-and-now emotions about future events, you get anxious and fearful about something that may or may not happen.

And all this leads to binge eating or overeating…

We do it to soothe, find comfort, or distract us from what’s going on.

But it’s better to think about the “What is” instead.

It focuses on reality. 

What is known and real.

When you are grounded in what’s actually happening, or what you know to be true, you are less likely to feel anxious, worried, or upset. 

Ask yourself:

What do I know to be true in this moment?

And keep your mind focused on what is actually happening, not what might happen.

Now that we’ve shifted our thinking, what can we actually do in this situation?

1. Take necessary precautions: Self-quarantine as much as possible so you avoid spreading the virus to people who are vulnerable (some are more likely to catch the virus than others).

2. Be more hygienic than you’re normally are: Wash your hands frequently with warm water and soap for at least 20 seconds. Avoid touching your face (including your eyes, nose, and mouth). Use hand sanitizer if available, I’ve seen it sold out in many places.

3. Make a plan: It’s only helpful to think about what might happen in the future when you make a plan. Otherwise, you’re only causing unnecessary stress on yourself. If the world feels scary and unpredictable, having a specific plan gives a great sense of calmness and control.

4. Create a strategy for yourself and/or your family: Think about how you will get through the next few weeks. Which urgent care or hospital do you go to if somebody starts developing symptoms?

5. Stockpile: Fill up your fridge and pantry with enough food staples to last a few weeks. And make sure you have at least a 30-day supply of medications, pain relievers, cold medicines, and anything else you may need (soap, toilet paper, toothpaste, etc.).

Benjamin Franklin said: “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”Luckily the reverse is also true. By preparing ourselves, we will succeed.

6. Reach out to others: Nobody is immune from the impact of this virus. Both physically and mentally. If the current state of the world is making you worried, it’s never wrong to reach and for support and comfort. It’s an important part of dealing with anxiety in times of uncertainty. Don’t be afraid to call your loved ones and tell them you love them. It’ll make you feel better. I promise.

So those are a few steps you can take to better handle all the crazy stuff going on in the world right now.

I really hope this helps. Feel free to let me know by dropping a comment below.

Just remember – you’re never alone. 

If you’d like extra support, whether it’s about the coronavirus, binge eating, body image issues, or anything else – feel free to connect with me and all the other strong people in our private community.

Here’s the link to the free Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/drninainc/

We will get through these challenging times together.

Hugs,

Dr. Nina

The Dr. Nina Show: "The Battle Of The Blueberry Muffin"

Dr. Nina talks with psychologist Dr. Aleta Edwards about her book, Fear Of The Abyss, which explores themes of shame, control and perfectionism. Dr. Nina discusses how shame impacts our relationship with ourselves and with food. She also explores why caller Nicole experienced a “battle with a blueberry muffin.” Don’t miss this fascinating show!

Grab your free copy of Dr. Nina's book The Binge Cure: 7 Steps To Outsmart Emotional Eating (just cover shipping): www.drnina.info.

The Truth About Comfort Food

The TRUTH About Comfort Food

Comfort food is actually about the need or the wish to be comforted by another person.  If nobody is available to provide comfort, or if the people in your life are not able to respond in a way that feels good, that’s painful.  The good news is that you can learn to give yourself what you need to feel better.

If you’re turning to food for comfort, the primary challenge is learning to respond to yourself with language instead of action (eating).

If you turn away from food as a way of feeling better, you’ve learned to respond to your needs by ignoring, denying or judging them.  It’s humiliating to have unmet needs, and you may have turned against your need for comfort as a way to feel powerful, turning passive to active. 

You cannot stuff down your feelings, nor can you starve them away or purge them.  Cultivating an ability to recognize, value and respond to yourself without bingeing, restricting or purging will help you overcome eating disorder behavior, no matter what your struggle with food.

Keep in mind the acronym VARY as a guide to providing comfort:

Validate:  Recognize that your feelings and thoughts are reactions to a particular situation, and you have an absolute right to feel the way you feel. 

For example:  I got passed over for a promotion at work and my co-worker got it instead. I feel hurt, unappreciated and upset.  Of course I feel that way.  How else could I feel given, this situation? 

Acknowledge:  Accept the existence and truth of what you’re feeling.

This is a painful, upsetting, and humiliation situation. I also realize that some of my sibling issues might have gotten stirred up, since my brother was always getting special treatment.

Reassure:  Encourage and inspire yourself by remembering that this situation will pass, and you will feel better.  Keep in mind past situations in which you were able to overcome difficulty.  You will this time, too!

I’ve overcome a lot of challenges in my life (recall them specifically) and I’m going to get past this, too.  I feel awful now, but I’m not going to be stuck in this horrible feeling.  I will feel better

Yourself!

When you are consistently respond to yourself in a supportive way, you feel better.  You may even feel good.  When that happens, you don’t use food to comfort, numb or distract yourself.  That’s how you make peace with food for good!   

Is food your best friend and your worst enemy?

Get your FREE guide:  25 Ways To Stop Stress Eating

Click here to get started on a path to making peace with food for good!

"One bite won't hurt you!"

Recently one of the listeners to my radio show wrote in and asked how to get food pushers to back off.  

She said, "People who say, 'Oh, come on, it's the Holidays. Just this one time. It's a time for indulgence." Or hosts who say, "You barely ate anything. Have some more. It's just a little." 

She wanted to know what to do about hosts who put the food on your plate rather than letting people put take own portions. 

(Or worse, what to do about the dreaded buffet party).

Here are my recommendations:

Prepare clever comebacks

Benjamin Franklin once said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”  Conversely, by preparing, you will succeed!

Going home for the holidays can cause a temporary regression.  If you feel like a five year old as soon as you step through the doors of your childhood home, it can be difficult to retain your adult self. 

Having snappy comments at the ready will help get you through.

For people who say, "One bite won't hurt you." (or something like that)

Respond with one of the following comebacks:

"In that case, only give me one bite."

"You're very interested in what I'm eating, aren't you?"

"Would you tell someone who's trying to smoke that one cigarette won't hurt?  Would you tell an alcoholic that one sip of alcohol won't hurt?"  

(I don't believe in food addiction, which I discuss in this post, but the point of these comebacks is to get people to back off, and this strategy is very effective).

For hosts who dole out food, it's perfectly acceptable to say, "Thank you so much, but I'll take my own."

If they say, "I insist on serving you myself" (which, is highly unlikely), say, with a smile, "You're working too hard, so I insist on helping you by fixing my own plate."

As for buffets, it may be helpful to ask a friend to make you a light and healthy plate, which helps you avoid temptation.

The point here is not to defend or explain, but to challenge these food pushers and put them on the defensive.

It also helps to be ready for comments and questions about your food choices and your weight, such as:

“Do you really need to eat that?” 

“You’ve put on a few pounds since last year.”

There are three ways to deal with these types of comments.

Set limits:

“I’m not discussing what I’m eating or how much I weigh. Period.”

“I don’t like speaking about my weight, so I prefer you don’t bring it up.”

Use Humor:

“No, I don’t need that.  But I sure do want it.  Is there a problem?”

“My weight is a number and it’s unlisted.”

“Thank you for noticing.  And here I thought nobody paid attention to me.”

“Absolutely right.  Curvy is the new black, didn’t you hear?”

“Wow, I actually HAVE gained weight.  Thank you for letting me know because otherwise it would have completely escaped my attention.”

Deflect:  

So what?  What’s new with you?

Maybe.  So how are you these days?

My weight really isn’t that interesting to me.  What are your plans for next year?

If they tell you that they are only asking because they are worried about your health, say:

“I appreciate your concern, but I do not want to discuss this.”

And, remind yourself:  this is TEMPORARY.   Before you know it, the New Year will be here and you will have gotten through the holidays without gaining weight!

Haven't heard my show yet?  Listen LIVE here on LA Talk Radio or get all the episodes on iTunes.

Here's that link again:  latalkradio.com/content/dr-nina-show