Today I'm really excited to share my interview with Ryan Sheldon, founder of Confessions Of A Binge Eater, in which he shares his journey to overcome binge eating disorder.
Here's a conversation I had with Ryan recently.
1. Ryan, can you share your journey
of struggling with binge eating to recovering from the disorder, or as I like
to say, ‘liberating’ yourself?
I’ve
always been a big eater, going back to childhood, and it seemed normal at that
time. I was always a bigger kid, so the fact that I ate a lot didn’t seem
unreasonable. Plus, I had a mother who made excuses for my eating habits: She
would always say, ‘Don’t worry, Ryan. You're a growing boy.’;
and she’d tell others, ‘He’s just big boned.’ So eating a lot was indoctrinated into my life, and
my brain. It became normal, and then it became normal to overeat. Then it
became normal to think about food all the time, obsess about it, plan meals
days in advance, all while binging on fast food, and sometimes really healthy
food, in between meals. Food was dominating my life, and not just eating it,
but thinking about it non-stop. It’s hard to have a life with all that going.
I have been going to therapy for many years, and when I
finally started talking about compulsion it led to me being diagnosed as
suffering from BED. Just realizing that BED was real was life changing for me.
I wasn’t ashamed any more. Talking about it has helped greatly, as well as
knowing that there are many other people who suffer from this. It’s why I
started blogging about it. If it helps even just one person it will be worth
it.
2. What has your biggest challenge been in
terms of being a guy with an eating disorder?
Convincing
people that I really was suffering from one. People just don’t think men suffer
from eating disorders, and men don’t feel it’s socially acceptable to talk
about it. They think women are the only ones who do suffer or should suffer
from an eating disorder, because women are the emotional ones, or less able to
control their emotions when they are upset or stressed, and naturally turn to
food.
I remember telling a couple friends that I had BED and they laughed, they
thought I was joking. I’m a funny guy and I come across really confident, so for
my friends to think that I was having real problems with food was hard for them
to understand, or to take seriously.
3. What are the biggest misconceptions
about men and eating disorders?
Well,
as I mentioned, people just don’t believe a guy can or should suffer from them.
If a man has a big appetite people just say, ‘Well, he’s a guy.’ And if you
tell them that you have an eating disorder they think you’re supposed to be
really skinny or they think you are joking. They say, ‘You’re a guy, you can
just work out and you will lose weight really fast.’
The way people think about
eating issues is sexist. But eating disorders are emotional, psychological, and
can affect anyone. In fact, just about half of those who suffer from BED are
men. I think most of the men out there suffering from BED don’t even realize
it’s a disease – they just think they are a big guy and probably eat too much.
Women, on the other hand, are more scrutinized for their appearance and they
are much more educated on eating disorder awareness. So they are more open to
the idea that they or a friend may have one, and keep a watchful eye for the
signs.
No one suspects a man might have an eating disorder, too.
The
result of all this is that men don’t feel it’s socially acceptable to tell
anyone they are battling an eating disorder, which causes them to hide their
problems even more and prevents them from starting to deal with something like
BED.
4. What misconceptions do you think people
have about BED and what do you want them to know?
They think people who suffer from
BED eat a lot at every meal and are extremely overweight. In fact, most people
with BED are normal weight to a little bit overweight. They are usually not
obese, because, although there is no purging after the binging, there is a kind
of dieting after an episode or series of episodes. People also think you are
lazy or don’t care, and those are the reasons for your eating disorder. It’s
such a problem.
People need to understand that BED has nothing to do with
hunger, it is a compulsive disorder. It can happen to anyone.
Ryan Sheldon is founder of Confessions of a
Binge Eater, a blog he created to share about his journey
with Binge Eating Disorder (BED). Ryan hopes his story will help others
suffering from BED overcome shame and embarrassment, as well as gain back
control over food. In particular, Ryan provides a voice for the many men
struggling eating disorders while encouraging them to get help.
Ryan used to spend his days thinking about food, planning for it, and
indulging in it. For years, he justified this by calling it “emotional eating”
until he realized his love affair with food was spiraling out of control. Ryan
was diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder, an illness characterized by
compulsive overeating. Since then, he has made it his mission to not
only overcome BED but to inspire others to do the same.
Ryan is not your run-of-the-mill life
coach. With an infectious personality, he uses both humor and education to help
others facing adversary. Ryan finds when you add humor to a tough situation, it
empowers you to stop feeling ashamed and start taking action. Join him on his
journey through life with BED!
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