How To Halt A Binge In Its Tracks

When that urge to binge strikes, it can feel as impossible to stop as an avalanche.   Here’s what to do to bring that binge to a skidding halt:

Delay: Postpone eating for 5-10 minutes when you feel an urge. You’re not saying “no” to yourself and you’re not using willpower. Instead, you’re just giving yourself a little space between wanting to binge and doing so.

Distract: When you’re busy, you might find the desire to snack or eat or binge disappears. Try an activity that helps you express your feelings, such as writing in a journal or venting to a friend.

Distance: Keep out of the kitchen. It’s also a good idea to keep food out of sight. Have nothing edible on your countertops. Put food in a cabinet or pantry. If you don’t see it in front of you, it’s less tempting.

Determine:  After 5-10 minutes, determine whether you are physically hungry or emotionally hungry. If you’re physically hungry, just about anything sounds good. If you’re emotionally hungry, you hope to feel better after eating.

Decide: The decision is yours, whether you want to binge. If you absolutely must eat something for emotional reasons, use a pre-packaged single serving. That lets you eat what you want but can stop you from bingeing on a family-sized portion.

Remember, wanting to binge does NOT mean that you will binge.   You can put the brakes on!!  

Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts and experiences with this five-step strategy to stop bingeing.

Balanced Body Through Balanced Eating

I'm pleased to welcome back Thomas Grainger as a guest blogger.  In honor of Eating Disorder Awareness Week, he shares his thoughts about balance.  

Take it away, Thomas!

BALANCED BODY THROUGH BALANCED EATING

by Thomas Grainger

2016 was the year that we witnessed a spike in talks around ‘clean eating’. From paleo to veganism, different people were associating themselves with different labels and different eating ideologies. With a focus on reclaiming back one’s health and doing what we felt was the best for our bodies, many people lost sight of what truly mattered. 

Balance.

Eating healthily is very much a subjective idea. It is not just about what you eat but HOW you are doing it, your thoughts and mindset about what you put into your mouth and the people you are sharing your food with. 

Eating is suppose to be a pleasurable process, and one often associated with spending quality time to those who matter in our lives. I think 2017 has already seen a refocusing on what it means to eat healthily - to find that balance between controlling what we eat and enjoying food for it’s intrinsically pleasurable and social value. With food becoming increasingly associated with our identities, especially due to the rise of social media platforms like Instagram and Snapchat, where people share their green smoothies or Acai Bowls in perfectly constructed stylised photo posts, 

It is important that we don’t let food define who we are. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a cupcake, or having a bowl of vegetables, if that’s what you feel like. Stewing over what we consume for hours, feelings of guilt or even the judgment of others who don’t eat the same way we do, is never a healthy attitude, no matter how many chia seeds you manage to sprinkle over your organic kale chips. 

There’s a time and a place for everything, as the cliche goes, and I do believe that eating is very much an evolutionary and indeed a learning process. 

Listen to your body. 

Enjoy what you eat. 

Aim to eat from the ‘rainbow’ of food choices out there and most importantly, don’t overthink things. 

Eating is not meant to be a trap. It’s not meant to be associated with weight gain or weight loss. 

It’s the fuel source that nourishes our bodies, and we should all enjoy this nourishing process. 

Let’s make 2017 the year of rebalancing perspectives on eating. Remember, you can ‘have your cake and eat it too’.   

Thomas Grainger is a television producer from Sydney, Australia. After battling a life-threatening eating disorder which left him with a number of serious health issues, he has embarked on a journey as a health and wellness activist, spreading a message of self-acceptance and love for one's body, no matter what shape or size. He is the author of the book, 'You Are Not Your Eating Disorder', a practical guide to understanding and recovering from an eating disorder for life. 

thomasgrainger.info

eatingdisorderbook.info

                                                                          

This will help you feel better

It's important to feel good about yourself even when you're in the process of change.

You may not like your weight, but you can like yourself as you work towards recovery from an eating disorder or weight loss (if that is your goal).

When you shift the way you think about yourself and your body, you become kinder to yourself and less critical.

When you're kind to yourself, you feel good and you're less likely to use food for comfort or distraction.

Here are some ways to help you shift your focus from critical to kind.   Bookmark this page so you have this "food for thought" wherever you go!

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Leave a comment and share which one of these most resonates with you, and why!  

New Year, New You

Are you making New Years resolutions this year?   Lots of us intend to start making changes, such as losing weight or going to the gym more often.

We also set intentions to stop behaviors such as bingeing or making unhealthy food choices.

Somewhere along the line our resolve fizzles and, boom - we're back to where we started.  If this sounds familiar, here are some tips to make 2017 different:

#1 - Stop Trying So Hard.

Resolutions are often phrased in terms of “trying” to make changes.  I’m going to try to lose weight.  I’m going to try to be healthier. 

Keep in mind there is no trying; there is either doing or not doing (thank you, Yoda!).

If you’re trying (and failing) at your attempts to change, there is always a reason.  Here are a few common fears that are associated with trying and failing:

Fear Of Disappointment: You imagine that by changing your body, you will change your life. But, what if it doesn’t?  What if everything in your life stays exactly the same?  Maybe that’s too much to risk, so you never allow yourself to get to the point where you will be disappointed.

Fear Of Impulsivity:  You worry that if you lose weight, you will be impulsive – i.e., leave your husband or wife, or take risks at work  If so, coming to terms with such fears is a crucial step towards change.

Fear Of Objectification: You  have negative associations to intimacy or fear being seen as a "thing" instead of a person.  This is so scary that you never allow yourself to feel good about your body.

Instead of trying to lose weight, examine the underlying conflicts that prevent you from taking the best possible care of your body.

#2 - Make A Different Kind of Resolution

New Years Resolutions are often only about behaviors.   I suggest we make resolutions to shift our relationship to ourselves and change our attitudes.

• Resolve to be kinder to yourself
• Resolve to listen to your inner voice
• Resolve to prioritize your needs and wants
• Resolve to be curious, instead of critical

Resolve to stop the negative self-talk and start being supportive of yourself.   Make a list of the ways you wish other people would be towards you, such as responsive, open, supportive, and kind.  Then, be that way towards yourself.

Here's a handy little reminder for you to download and/or memorize:

New!!  Read my new book, "Food For Thought: Perspectives on Eating Disorders" (an Amazon bestseller!):  Click>>>amazon.com/author/drnina

Top 3 Holiday Tips

#1 - Be a social anthropologist

There's nothing worse than feeling self-conscious over the holidays.  You feel as if you've got a giant spotlight on you and everyone is looking at you, thinking critical thoughts about your weight, appearance or life choices.   Yuck.

The key is to switch the focus.  Consider what YOU think of other people, instead of imagining what they are thinking about you.

When you're observing others, you will be much less self-conscious and feel better overall.   And, when you feel good, you won't use food to escape, soothe or distract yourself.

#2 - Don't "should" on yourself

If you constantly say things like, "I shouldn't have eaten that" or, "I should exercise more" then you're "shoulding" on yourself.   You might eat just to escape your own critical voice!

Instead, acknowledge yourself for what you ARE doing.  Say, "I'm proud that I realize why I ate those Christmas cookies, instead of only focusing on the fact that I ate them."

Be curious, not critical.  Ask yourself, "I wonder what's going on with me?  Am I upset about something or anxious?  What would I say to a friend in the same situation?"

Being nice to yourself feels good.  When you feel good, you won't eat for comfort or distraction!

#3 - Toss the scale

How many mornings have you weighed yourself - and whatever that number is, it ruins your whole day?

The bathroom scale is not your friend.  It does not know you and it cannot measure your value.
Do not let a piece of metal and plastic have that much control over your self esteem!  Toss that scale in the trash, where it belongs.  Or do what I did in this video:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKbtHooceZI

Please comment on which of these tips resonates the most with you.

Wishing you a happy, healthy (and enjoyable) holiday season!!

Dr. Nina

"The way people think about eating issues is sexist"

Today I'm really excited to share my interview with Ryan Sheldon, founder of Confessions Of A Binge Eater, in which he shares his journey to overcome binge eating disorder.

Here's a conversation I had with Ryan recently.

1.  Ryan, can you share your journey of struggling with binge eating to recovering from the disorder, or as I like to say, ‘liberating’ yourself?

I’ve always been a big eater, going back to childhood, and it seemed normal at that time. I was always a bigger kid, so the fact that I ate a lot didn’t seem unreasonable. Plus, I had a mother who made excuses for my eating habits: She would always say, ‘Don’t worry, Ryan. You're a growing boy.’; and she’d tell others, ‘He’s just big boned.’ So eating a lot was indoctrinated into my life, and my brain. It became normal, and then it became normal to overeat. Then it became normal to think about food all the time, obsess about it, plan meals days in advance, all while binging on fast food, and sometimes really healthy food, in between meals. Food was dominating my life, and not just eating it, but thinking about it non-stop. It’s hard to have a life with all that going.

I have been going to therapy for many years, and when I finally started talking about compulsion it led to me being diagnosed as suffering from BED. Just realizing that BED was real was life changing for me. I wasn’t ashamed any more. Talking about it has helped greatly, as well as knowing that there are many other people who suffer from this. It’s why I started blogging about it. If it helps even just one person it will be worth it.

2.  What has your biggest challenge been in terms of being a guy with an eating disorder?

Convincing people that I really was suffering from one. People just don’t think men suffer from eating disorders, and men don’t feel it’s socially acceptable to talk about it. They think women are the only ones who do suffer or should suffer from an eating disorder, because women are the emotional ones, or less able to control their emotions when they are upset or stressed, and naturally turn to food. 

I remember telling a couple friends that I had BED and they laughed, they thought I was joking. I’m a funny guy and I come across really confident, so for my friends to think that I was having real problems with food was hard for them to understand, or to take seriously.

3.  What are the biggest misconceptions about men and eating disorders?

Well, as I mentioned, people just don’t believe a guy can or should suffer from them. If a man has a big appetite people just say, ‘Well, he’s a guy.’ And if you tell them that you have an eating disorder they think you’re supposed to be really skinny or they think you are joking. They say, ‘You’re a guy, you can just work out and you will lose weight really fast.’ 

The way people think about eating issues is sexist. But eating disorders are emotional, psychological, and can affect anyone. In fact, just about half of those who suffer from BED are men. I think most of the men out there suffering from BED don’t even realize it’s a disease – they just think they are a big guy and probably eat too much. 

Women, on the other hand, are more scrutinized for their appearance and they are much more educated on eating disorder awareness. So they are more open to the idea that they or a friend may have one, and keep a watchful eye for the signs. 

No one suspects a man might have an eating disorder, too.

The result of all this is that men don’t feel it’s socially acceptable to tell anyone they are battling an eating disorder, which causes them to hide their problems even more and prevents them from starting to deal with something like BED.

4.  What misconceptions do you think people have about BED and what do you want them to know? 

They think people who suffer from BED eat a lot at every meal and are extremely overweight. In fact, most people with BED are normal weight to a little bit overweight. They are usually not obese, because, although there is no purging after the binging, there is a kind of dieting after an episode or series of episodes. People also think you are lazy or don’t care, and those are the reasons for your eating disorder. It’s such a problem. 

People need to understand that BED has nothing to do with hunger, it is a compulsive disorder. It can happen to anyone.

Ryan Sheldon is founder of Confessions of a Binge Eater, a blog he created to share about his journey with Binge Eating Disorder (BED). Ryan hopes his story will help others suffering from BED overcome shame and embarrassment, as well as gain back control over food. In particular, Ryan provides a voice for the many men struggling eating disorders while encouraging them to get help.

Ryan used to spend his days thinking about food, planning for it, and indulging in it. For years, he justified this by calling it “emotional eating” until he realized his love affair with food was spiraling out of control. Ryan was diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder, an illness characterized by compulsive overeating. Since then, he has made it his mission to not only overcome BED but to inspire others to do the same.

Ryan is not your run-of-the-mill life coach. With an infectious personality, he uses both humor and education to help others facing adversary. Ryan finds when you add humor to a tough situation, it empowers you to stop feeling ashamed and start taking action. Join him on his journey through life with BED!

For more information on Ryan, please visit http://confessionsofabingeeater.com

or email sarah@sarahrosepr.com.

Getting Over Overeating For Teens

I'm so pleased to welcome back psychotherapist Andrea Wachter, who is sharing excerpts from her latest book.  Although this book is geared towards teenagers, it can benefit people of any age!

The following excerpts are from Getting Over Overeating for Teens by Andrea Wachter, LMFT. They are reprinted with permission from New Harbinger Publications, Inc. copyright © 2016 For more details, click here: http://www.andreawachter.com/books/

If you’ve been struggling with overeating, you’re not alone. And the most important thing to know is that it is not your fault! We live in a culture that gives us some pretty crazy messages about food, fitness, and feelings. On top of that, most teens have lots of stress dealing with friends, family, and finals. (Well, homework too, but I was on such a roll with words that start with F I figured I’d go with finals!)

Most of us, including our parents, haven’t been taught how to deal with food, fitness, and feelings in really healthy ways. We all get taught the same mixed messages—but the good news is that we can actually delete our unhealthy habits and upgrade to healthier ones.

Let’s start out with a quick definition of overeating, and how it’s different from bingeing. Overeating is when you eat more than your body needs. Even people who have a totally healthy relationship with food will overeat occasionally. It becomes a problem only if they do it too often or if it has negative consequences.

Binge eating is when someone eats a large amount of food in a short amount of time. They usually eat fast and until they are stuffed and ashamed. And they usually eat over painful emotions and thoughts, rather than out of true physical hunger.

I started overeating (and dieting, sneak eating, bingeing, and struggling with my weight) when I was a teenager. It took me a lot of years and tears to find the right kind of help, but I finally did. And now I have the privilege of teaching others (including you) all the things that helped me get over overeating.

Even though overeating can feel pretty comforting while we’re doing it, it can definitely leave us feeling pretty lousy after we’re done. And no matter how good food tastes while it’s going down, if we’re eating more than our body needs and for reasons that have nothing to do with physical hunger, it’s going to have negative effects— physically, emotionally, mentally, and socially.

Overeating is definitely one way to stuff down painful feelings. The only problem is that when we stuff down our pain, we also stuff down our passion, happiness, and excitement. It’s like damming a river; you hold back all the water, not just some of it.

Getting over overeating means getting back some of the joy, excitement, and peace that might be missing in your life. It means finding healthier ways to get sweetness and comfort. It means learning to eat foods you really love, in amounts that satisfy your body’s needs, and finding new ways to satisfy the rest of your needs.

Don’t Believe Everything You Think!

Have you ever had the experience where one minute you’re going about your day feeling fine and the next minute you have a horrible thought? It’s probably not because something horrible happened. Well, maybe something happened, but usually it’s because a horrible thought popped into your mind.

We all have automatic thoughts that pop up in our minds, just like we have pop-up ads on our computer screens. It’s so easy to believe our thoughts. After all, they are our thoughts! They seem and feel so real, but the truth is, our thoughts aren’t always real, and they sure aren’t always helpful, kind, or true. The good news is that, just like we can close those unwanted pop-up ads on our computers with a simple click, we can learn to close the pop-ups in our minds.

Filling Up Without Feeling Down

It’s pretty easy in our fast-paced world to focus on feeding our bodies and feeding our minds. But if we want to get over overeating, we also have to feed the deeper parts of ourselves that can’t be seen, the parts of us that have nothing to do with the material world—our hearts and our souls. These are places that food won’t fill. If we overfeed our bodies, we might be full, but not truly fulfilled. If we feed only our minds, we might think and learn a lot, but we won’t be really satisfied. We all need to fill our spirits too, on a regular basis. When you truly feed your spirit, you feel better afterward. You feel truly filled up, and there are no negative or harmful consequences.

Andrea Wachter is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author of Getting Over Overeating for Teens. She is also co-author of Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: Breaking the “I Feel Fat” Spell and The Don’t Diet, Live-It Workbook. An inspirational counselor, author and speaker, Andrea uses professional expertise, humor and personal recovery to help others. For more information on her books, blogs and other services, please visit: www.andreawachter.com