Top 3 Holiday Tips

#1 - Be a social anthropologist

There's nothing worse than feeling self-conscious over the holidays.  You feel as if you've got a giant spotlight on you and everyone is looking at you, thinking critical thoughts about your weight, appearance or life choices.   Yuck.

The key is to switch the focus.  Consider what YOU think of other people, instead of imagining what they are thinking about you.

When you're observing others, you will be much less self-conscious and feel better overall.   And, when you feel good, you won't use food to escape, soothe or distract yourself.

#2 - Don't "should" on yourself

If you constantly say things like, "I shouldn't have eaten that" or, "I should exercise more" then you're "shoulding" on yourself.   You might eat just to escape your own critical voice!

Instead, acknowledge yourself for what you ARE doing.  Say, "I'm proud that I realize why I ate those Christmas cookies, instead of only focusing on the fact that I ate them."

Be curious, not critical.  Ask yourself, "I wonder what's going on with me?  Am I upset about something or anxious?  What would I say to a friend in the same situation?"

Being nice to yourself feels good.  When you feel good, you won't eat for comfort or distraction!

#3 - Toss the scale

How many mornings have you weighed yourself - and whatever that number is, it ruins your whole day?

The bathroom scale is not your friend.  It does not know you and it cannot measure your value.
Do not let a piece of metal and plastic have that much control over your self esteem!  Toss that scale in the trash, where it belongs.  Or do what I did in this video:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKbtHooceZI

Please comment on which of these tips resonates the most with you.

Wishing you a happy, healthy (and enjoyable) holiday season!!

Dr. Nina

Your Holiday Survival Guide

It's that time of year again.  The holidays are upon us.   Does that bring you joy?

Or dread?

Maybe you feel a combination of both happiness and anxiety.  If you feel conflicted about the holidays, you're not alone. 

Why are the holidays so difficult for so many people?

TV commercials and magazine ads start showing happy, loving, close families gathered over a table loaded with food.  Everyone is beaming and grateful for their wonderful lives. 

If that’s your reality, consider yourself lucky.  But for many people, if not most, that’s a fantasy world that’s not even close to reality.

If it seems as if everyone in the world is living a perfect Hallmark holiday life, full of peace, love and happiness - and then there’s YOUR family, that can be painful.

The contrast can be really difficult especially if you think the picture perfect image is how it’s supposed to be, and it’s just not.  

That’s upsetting, which leads to overeating or bingeing (or other forms of disordered eating) as a way to numb or distract from the pain. 

Or, because these families are often shown having meals together, eating, overeating or bingeing can be a means of “feeling” like you’re part of the picture perfect holiday family.  If you can't have the family, at least you've got the food.

And what about the food?

The holidays start with Thanksgiving (at least they do in the United States) and Thanksgiving is often referred to as “National Binge Day” – the whole day is a tribute to excess. 

You’re expected to overeat.  It’s even considered bad manners not to try everything on the table.  If you struggle with food, this can be extremely challenging.

Another problem with the holidays is everyone talks about food.  A lot.

Some relatives get offended if you don’t try everything.  Someone will say, “I know you’re watching your weight but you’re just GOT to try my pecan pie.  One bite won’t hurt you.  Go on, have some.”

And then there are the people who watch every bite they eat – and every bite YOU eat.

They say, “Oh, I shouldn’t have this.”  Or worse, “Do you think you should eat that?  Do you really need that?”

All this focus on food can lead to a lot of stress – you’re anxious, upset, and sad – and if you don’t have other strategies to deal with those stressful emotion, that makes you more vulnerable to using food to cope. 

So it can be a vicious cycle.  The key is to learn to express feelings in words, instead of behavior.

How do you stop the cycle?

People often think they are triggered by food but they’re not.  They’re usually triggered by situations and experiences that are painful or upsetting, and make them want to turn to food to cope – to numb, or distract from what’s upsetting them.

Start by asking yourself some questions:

What is the most difficult part of the holidays?  Food?  Family?  Lack of family?

  

Are you emotionally hungry, lonely, upset, or maybe even jealous?  

What is eating "at" you the most?

When you deal with and process those situations and feelings directly, you won’t use food as a coping strategy.  

What is my top survival tip for the holidays?

Be a social anthropologist.    

When you're watching and observing, you're not a participant.  Observing means creating some distance and that distance can be very illuminating.




Hearing your grandparents criticize your sister or brother or cousin, helps you see you learned to criticize yourself. 

When you realize that your mother apologizes for every bite she eats, you’ll recognize how you learned to feel guilty for every bite you take.

It doesn’t matter whether you celebrate Christmas or Hannukah or Kwanza, or nothing, pay attention to what’s going on around you.

What do you like about them?    What do you dislike?

What do you appreciate?   What do you wish was different?

Give yourself permission to hold the positive and negatives about others – it’ll make it easier to hold both about yourself.

When you’re observing others, you don’t feel as much under observation.  That makes you feel less self-conscious, and you feel better.  When you feel better, you’re less likely to use food to cope.

Add some gratitude!

It’s the holidays, and ultimately the holidays are about gratitude, so be grateful.  Think of one thing you appreciate; whether it’s a person or a situation, because hanging onto one good thing can keep you going when things are challenging.  

How To Survive The Holidays - Part 2

CLICK HERE to listen to the interview.

What's the main cause of anxiety over the holidays?

Family, definitely.  And, food. 

The holidays start with Thanksgiving (at least they do in the United States) and Thanksgiving is often referred to as “National Binge Day” – the whole day is a tribute to excess. 

You’re expected to overeat.  It’s even considered bad manners not to try everything on the table.  If you struggle with food, this can be extremely challenging.

Another problem with the holidays is everyone talks about food.  A lot.

Some relatives get offended if you don’t try everything.  Someone will say, “I know you’re watching your weight but you’re just GOT to try my pecan pie.  One bite won’t hurt you.  Go on, have some.”

And then there are the people who watch every bite they eat – and every bite YOU eat.

They say, “Oh, I shouldn’t have this.”  Or worse, “Do you think you should eat that?  Do you really need that?”

And then there are people who talk about food as if it’s a person.  “Oh, what a beautiful turkey.  What a gorgeous ham.  Everything looks beautiful.  I’m so in love with this meal.”

Personally, I don’t think food is beautiful or gorgeous.  People are beautiful (inside and out).

Love belongs to relationships between humans.  You love your husband, your wife, your girlfriend, boyfriend, your kids, your parents.  Food isn’t worthy of your love.

All this focus on food can lead to a lot of stress – you’re anxious, upset, and sad – and if you don’t have other strategies to deal with those stressful emotion, that makes you more vulnerable to using food to cope. 

So it can be a vicious cycle.  The key is to learn to express feelings in words, instead of behavior.

How do you stop the cycle?

People often think they are triggered by food but they’re not.  They’re usually triggered by situations and experiences that are painful or upsetting, and make them want to turn to food to cope – to numb, or distract from what’s upsetting them.

Start by asking yourself some questions:

*What is the most difficult part of the holidays?  Food?  Family?  Lack of family?

*What do you like about the holiday season?  What do you dislike?

*What helps during this time?

*What doesn’t help?

*What are the emotional triggers?

This helps you understand yourself better and know what your true triggers are – situational and emotional.  When you deal with and process those situations and feelings directly, you won’t use food as a coping strategy.

What is my top survival tip for the holidays?

Be a social anthropologist.    

When you're watching and observing, you're not a participant.  Observing means creating some distance and that distance can be very illuminating.

When you hear your mom or dad or grandparents criticize your sister or brother or cousin, or even themselves, you can see more clearly how you learned to criticize yourself. 

When you realize that your mother apologizes for every bite she eats, you’ll recognize how you learned to feel guilty for every bite you take.

It doesn’t matter whether you celebrate Christmas or Hannukah or Kwanza, or nothing, pay attention to what’s going on around you.

Which category does everyone at the table fit into?  Are they drunk, jealous, show-offs, or relentlessly perfect?

What do you like about them?  What do you appreciate?  What do you dislike?  Give yourself permission to hold the positive and negatives about others – it’ll make it easier to hold both about yourself.

Do you like people better because they’re thin?  Probably not.

When you’re observing others, you don’t feel as much under observation.  That makes you feel less self-conscious, and you feel better.  When you feel better, you’re less likely to use food to cope.

Add some gratitude!

It’s the holidays, and ultimately the holidays are about gratitude, so be grateful.  Think of one thing you appreciate; whether it’s a person or a situation, because hanging onto one good thing can keep you going when things are challenging.   

And with that in mind, be grateful for yourself, and practice self-acceptance and self-care.  You’ll feel better, and when you feel better, you’re less likely to use food to cope.  And as I like to say to my listeners and viewers, that’s how you win the diet war.

*          *          *

https://winthedietwar.com/kick-the-diet-habit-now/

How To Survive The Holidays - Part I

(Click the photo HERE to listen to the interview).

It's that time of year again.  The holidays are upon us.  Perhaps that fills you with a sense of joy.

Or possibly dread.  

Possibly both.

If you feel conflicted about the holidays, you're not alone. 

Why are the holidays so difficult for so many people?

For one thing, we’re often saturated with media images of how it’s” supposed to be.”  At this time of year, TV commercials and magazine ads start showing happy, loving, close families (and by the way, they’re usually white and well-off), all gathered over a table loaded with food, beaming and grateful for their wonderful lives. 

If that’s your reality, consider yourself very lucky.  But for many people, if not most, this is a fantasy world that’s not even close to reality.

If it seems as if everyone in the world is living a perfect Hallmark holiday life, full of peace, love and happiness - and then there’s YOUR family, that can be painful.

The contrast can be really difficult especially if you think the picture perfect image is how it’s supposed to be, and it’s just not.  

That’s depressing for a lot of people, which leads to overeating as a way to numb or distract from the pain.  Or, because these families are often shown eating, eating or overeating can be a way of “feeling” like you’re part of the picture perfect holiday family.

Reality is tough

Ever see the movie, Reality Bites?  Reality is often painful and can never measure up to an image, fantasy or idea about how things "should" or "could" be.    

These days, the term "reality" is associated with reality shows on TV.  And lots of families include people that are right out of a reality show.  There are certain types of characters that run in families:

Drunk relatives – either happy drunks or angry drunks; neither is fun.

Overly cheerful, aren’t-we-happy and isn’t-everything-perfect relatives that are usually living in denial of reality.

Jealous relatives – the ones who have a negative comment about everything you do or say.

Show-offs – they think they’re better than everyone else because they can outspend everyone else in the family

Then there are those who only talk about how great it used to be back in the day.  They just can’t handle being in the present.

No matter what the issues are in families, it can sometimes be depressing or upsetting.  That's when grieving is important, which means processing the limits of what you had and accepting what you will not experience.  The process of mourning involves a range of emotions, from anger, sadness, disappointment, to acceptance. 

When you allow yourself to think what you think during the holiday season, and feel what you feel, you will be less likely to need or use some form of distraction, such as food, to cope.

*          *          *

https://winthedietwar.com/kick-the-diet-habit-now/