What You NEED to Know About Comfort Food

Ever wonder, "Why food?" 

Dr. Nina explains WHY you use food to cope and she tells you exactly what you need to do to change. Watch now!

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https://winthedietwar.com/kick-the-diet-habit-now/

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Baby, Baby

BABY YOURSELF!

Ever notice how attentive new mothers are to their babies?

Recently my friend Heather came over with her new daughter.   When baby began to cry, Heather tried to figure out what was wrong.  Was the baby tired?  Hungry?  In need of a diaper change?  Did she just need to be held?

The baby was crying because she needed comfort.  As I watched Heather tend to her child, I reflected how nice it would be if people treated themselves with the same amount of interest and concern that they show for babies.    Those who struggle with disordered eating often are hostile to their most basic needs, whether for food, sleep, love, connection, or comfort.

Some mothers use food to meet every need.  If the baby cries, she may be tired, hungry, wet or just cranky, but the response is the same: she gets fed.

Imagine a baby's perspective. You’re tired and need a nap, so you cry.  Mom comes over right away, but instead of putting you down for a soothing rest, she provides a bottle.  You learn that your need for rest will be resolved with food.  You may even start to confuse the need for rest with hunger.  If this happens repeatedly, you may even start feeling hungry when you’re tired.

Do you recognize and meet your needs for soothing, for connection, rest, and so forth?  Or are you hostile to those needs, angry at "giving in" to hunger or using food to comfort and distract from difficult, upsetting feelings?

How were you comforted as a child?  What was helpful?  What was missing?

What can you do differently to "baby" yourself?  Recognizing and validating your needs is an important first step.

What do you need more of in your life?  Connection?  Recognition?  Love?  Time?  Rest?

Your needs and wants require validation and attention, not  condemnation.

Baby yourself, today and every day!

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https://winthedietwar.com/kick-the-diet-habit-now/ 

Don't "Should" On Yourself!

I'm on a mission to banish the word "should" from our vocabulary.  The word makes people feel bad about themselves and promotes shame, guilt and other difficult emotions.

Here's why:

Definition of "Should": To express obligation or duty; also used to express expectation, conditionality.

The way we speak to ourselves can directly influence the way we feel, which in turn can impact behavior. If you feel terrible about yourself, you might turn to (or from) food to comfort, soothe, or distract from the intolerable feeling.

When you relate to yourself in a kinder way, you will feel better and therefore need to turn to disordered eating as a way of coping.

How many times have you told yourself:

I should not do that.

I should not have eaten that.

I shouldn’t eat that.

I shouldn’t want that.

I should be better at this.

I should get a better job.

I should have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Even if you say, “I should be happy” it implies that you’re not as happy as you could be.

Often we speak to ourselves in second person, as if someone else is talking to us:

You shouldn't have said that.

You shouldn’t have eaten that.

You shouldn’t have done that.

You shouldn’t want that..

You should do better.

Whose voice does that sound like? Is it familiar?

The word “should” can cause us to direct anxiety, sadness, anger, and distress towards ourselves.Those feelings may be so powerful that we use disordered eating to cope.

Instead of “I/you should not do that” ask yourself: 

What do I want? What am I feeling? What’s going on with me right now?

Be interested in your thoughts/emotions rather than judgmental.

When you're self-critical, you feel bad.  When you respond to yourself with kindness and interest, when you soothe yourself with words, you're less likely to turn to or from food in order to comfort, numb or distract yourself from what's going on inside.

Graphic by Talia Ellis, www.ellistic.net