Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Crack The Code To Emotional Eating

How do you crack the code of emotional eating?  By changing the way you respond to your emotions!

Last weekend I had the honor of speaking at an uplifting, fabulous event in Santa Monica, celebrating self-acceptance and honoring Mental Health Awareness Month.  For those of you who couldn't be there, I wanted to bring the event to you!

Click my photo or click HERE to watch the video!   


For those of you who'd rather read the speech, here's what I said:

"I want to tell you this thing that happened...  I’m in the park and there are these two toddlers – a little girl and a little boy – and they’re playing in the sand, digging, sifting, eating sand, having a great time. 

All of a sudden the boy gets up and runs off.  He just takes off - with the shovel.  

The little girl bursts into tears.  She’s upset – her friend took off and she’s sad.  And here comes mom, running up, “Don’t cry!  Don’t cry!  It’s okay!”

Of course she keeps crying, because... well, we've all been there, right?  You're hanging out with someone, thinking everything is going great, you're getting along, and then suddenly they're gone.  So she's upset.

And mom’s digging in her diaper bag, saying, “Stop crying, it’s okay,” and then she says, “Here, have a cookie.” (yikes)

What did that little girl learn?  She learned that feelings cause other people to be anxious and upset and she should not cry.  But if she absolutely can’t stop herself, a cookie will do the trick. 

Hello, disordered eating in the future. 

So what does this have to do with self-acceptance and mental health?  Well, when we talk about mental health, we’re often talking about emotional health.  Only we’ve got a problem in this country, because we make emotions into a bad, scary thing.

You’re considered weak if you feel your emotions and strong if you don’t.  How does that even make sense?  Doesn’t it take a lot of strength to deal with painful, difficult emotions?

Here’s the thing:  cookies don’t take away feelings.   You can’t stuff feelings down, you can’t starve them away, purge them, drink them away, gamble them away, work them away, let them go, or use positive thinking to get rid of them.  

There’s only ONE WAY to get rid of feelings.  

That little girl in the sandbox?   If her mother had just said, “Yeah, honey, that hurts.  It’s hard when people leave you and take your stuff.”  If she’d said that, then the girl would have had a good cry and felt better.

That’s how you get rid of feelings.  As counterintuitive as it may seem, the only way to get rid of feelings is to actually FEEL them.

We need to accept that feelings are reactions to situations and not character flaws.   If you get mad, you’re not an angry person; you’re a person who’s angry.

We need to accept our emotions and give them our attention, not our condemnation.

We must accept tears.

Accept our fears.

Accept everything we feel, today and every day, because ultimately emotions are NOT a sign that you are weak. They are a sign that you are human. 

By accepting your feeling, you accept your humanity.  And that’s a healthy outlook!"

What are you going to do today to accept yourself?   Share by replying to this post!

Once again, here's the link to the speech: Watch it here. 
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Friday, August 14, 2015

How To Stop Cheating On Your Diet



Do you feel as if you're "cheating" on your meal plan (or doing something wrong) when you eat an actual carb or fat gram, or something that tastes yummy?

By focusing on food, weight and body image, you may be cheating yourself out of enjoying many aspects of life - not just food (which ought to be one of the pleasures of life, not a battleground), but the joys of connecting with people, feeling close or even enjoying a hug.

Why turn to food instead of people?  People can be unpredictable, unreliable and unavailable.  Unlike people, food is available, consistent and reliable.  You have access to it when you want and it's always the same.  

If you're focusing on your weight, food and appearance at the expense of your relationships, you may find yourself withdrawing physically, emotionally, and socially from others - either because you feel self-conscious or because you don't feel comfortable around other people.

Maybe you avoid social events, fearing there will be no “safe” food or that you'll eat too much, or fearing that you'll be judged for how you look.

Ask yourself if you are “hungry” for love, attention, connection and/or fulfillment but are turning to food as a substitute, worried that you will never get enough or be satisfied in your relationships or alternatively fearing that somehow you don't deserve to feel happy and satisfied.

If you're cheating on your diet, maybe you need the sweetness of connection and satisfaction.  

Create an appetite for life!   Choose at least one of these simple pleasures to experience this week:

    Laugh with a friend (tell a joke or funny story)
    Give a compliment and make someone smile
    Sing your heart out in the car without caring what other drivers think
    Read a child a story
    Call a friend and catch up
    Smile at a stranger
     
What would you add to the list?  Leave a comment and share your thoughts!   

Enjoying fulfilling experiences with people and relationships with friends and family makes you less likely to use food for fulfillment (literally and figuratively) or to focus on your weight as a measure of your value.  

When you taste all that life has to offer, and enjoy a range of relationships and experiences, you will be satisfied and happy.  When you make peace with yourself, you make peace with food - for good!

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Want even more support on your journey?  I can help!  Imagine feeling FREE of food cravings and being at peace, all without dieting (yes, it is possible)!

Sign up FREE resources:  http://winthedietwar.com


Saturday, March 7, 2015

How To Get Rid Of Feelings

Ever wish you could just be DONE with painful, difficult, upsetting emotions?

You can't eat them away, starve them away, purge them, let them go or ignore them.  There's only one way to get rid of feelings.  WATCH NOW to and find our how!







Monday, March 2, 2015

Join me and 27 other EXPERTS


Introducing theMindful Eating World Summit, hosted by Dr.KelleeRutley D.C.

Take your health, your body and your MIND back!

This 14-day Virtual Event begins on March 16, 2015.

Claim your FREE virtual seat here:  http://bit.ly/1Djy5LZ

Do you have that nagging feeling, that if you just had that one illusive “secret” to unlock the door to your OWN “innate” healing powers, that you would finally reclaim your health, take back your body AND your mind? Stop the insanity of up and down weight and on and off dieting? Are you finally ready to create REAL HONEST HEALTH AND HAPPINESS?

This is about REAL health and life long vitality. No more fads, schemes and rollercoaster dieting. We know deep down that much of what we have been taught about nutrition, fitness and health is just plain wrong. It’s time to reveal the truth behind the smoke and mirrors of the “diet world” once and for all.

That's why I’m so excited to be a part of Dr. KelleeRutley’s virtual event. She’s brought together over 28 amazing POWERHOUSE experts to help you remove the guilt, shame and confusion around weight release and TRUE health – and replace that with powerful ideas that work to EMPOWER you! It’s all the information you’ve wanted, needed and have been looking for, all in one place.

We are Doctors, Educators, Scientists, Zen Masters, Psychologists, Naturopaths and Holistic Chefs (and one Psychoanalyst)!   New York Times and Hay House authors, World Renowned Master Trainers and Coaches.Many of us have had our own issues with poor health and unhealthy weight rollercoasters– and our personal stories reflect that. 

Together, we’ll reach optimal health, vitality and happiness!


Join us.  Click HERE now! 



Thursday, January 10, 2013

Being vs. Doing


We’re human beings, not human doings!

Our society values productivity and accomplishment. If you grow up in a family (and a culture) that is primarily or solely interested in what you're doing, accomplishing and achieving, you learn to value yourself by being productive; it becomes the basis of self-esteem. 

When others express interest only in your accomplishments, you learn to value yourself only for what you have achieved.  When others dismiss or devalue your feelings, you learn to do the same.  Feelings become frightening and a source of anxiety. Disordered eating is a way of coping with those feelings.  So is staying busy and focused on achievements.


Doing can serve as a distraction from your emotions.  It can take the form of:

*Working all the time
*Going online all the time
*Going to the gym
*Running errands
*Having the TV on all the time
*Going out and seeing friends all the time
*Thinking about what you need to do next/making lists
*Thinking about calories, fat grams, the number on the scale

Being puts you in touch with your emotions.   It looks like this:

*Being alone
*Staying aware of  thoughts and feelings
*Comforting and soothing yourself with words
*Relaxing

How do you keep busy?

How did you learn to use “doing” to escape “feeling”?

What happens if you are alone with yourself?

What are you afraid you might think?

What are you afraid you might feel?

When you can "be" with yourself and process any feelings or conflicts you might experience, you are less vulnerable to turning to (or from) food to distract yourself from those uncomfortable states.


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Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Other "F" Word


















How do you talk to yourself?

Here are some things I've heard this past week:
  • I'm so mad at myself for eating all those brownies.  I'm such a loser.
  • Why can't I get a grip?  What's wrong with me? 
  • I woke up feeling gross after bingeing yesterday.  I'm disgusting.
  • I hate myself.
Ouch!

The way you talk to yourself impacts the way you feel, which in turn influences behavior.  If you're harsh, you'll feel AWFUL - and way more likely to eat for comfort or distraction (just to escape yourself!).

Changing the way you respond to YOU is absolutely key to making peace with food. Here are three crucial steps you can implement right away:

#1 Choose your words carefully

Let's say a friend ate brownies and was really upset.  Imagine telling her (or him), "I can't believe you scarfed down those brownies.  You are such a loser."

Um.... probably not.

So what would you say to a friend?    

For starters, how about, "Eating brownies is not a criminal offense so please don't punish yourself."  

Then I'd wonder, "What was going on with you before you ate those brownies?  What were you feeling?  Thinking?  What would be on your mind if you weren't beating yourself up for having brownies?"

Keep in mind:

Stay curious, not critical.

If you wouldn't say it to a friend or a child, don't say it to yourself.

#2 Acknowledge & Ask Questions

If a friend felt physically gross after a binge, I doubt you'd say, "You have no right to your feelings.  You should just suffer, you loser."

Acknowledgment sounds like,  "I know you're feeling terrible.  You feel sad and defeated and upset. What would make you feel better right now?  

Practice saying this to yourself.   "I feel sad and upset.  What will make me feel better?"

Acknowledging emotions is validating.  Asking questions helps you find answers. 
I promise you, that feels way better than calling yourself names!

Take care with your tone

The same words can feel very different depending on what tone you use.  If you ask, "What do I need right now?" in a warm, caring, interested tone, you'll feel good, comforted and safe.

It's quite another to use the same words in a cold, exasperated tone of voice.

Tone is essential.  A soothing tone can feel like a verbal hug.

Talk to yourself as you would talk to someone you care deeply about!  By stopping the criticism and cultivating interest and support, you'll be able to comfort yourself with words.  When that happens, you won't use food for that purpose!

As with everything, practice makes progress.

Take good care of yourself, today and every day!

Dr. Nina


FREE 3 Day Video Training: Crack The Code Of Emotional Eating!

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